LILA
What isBeau trying to do to me? This isn’t the first time he’s brought up Mason and me being together. It isn’t even the second or third. He’s done it over a dozen times now. At least to me. He’s only said it to Mason twice that I know of. Who knows what he says when I’m not around? First he brought it up with the whole dating thing and now with getting married. I think he might be up to something, but I might be wrong.
Each time a want that I always try to hide comes rushing to the surface. The crush I’ve had on Mason begs to be out in the open. I have to shove it back down every time and stuff it away where it belongs.
It does make it harder to shove those feelings aside when Mason is always reassuring Beau that there is no other woman in his life. A relief fills me every time he says it. As much as I love hearing it, I also have to face the fact of what that relief I feel means.
I’m in love with Mason. And while he might never shove Beau aside, if one day he did find himself a wife, I might have to leave. I’m not sure it’s something I could bear to watch. To see another woman come in and fill a space that in my head has always belonged to me. Even if I try to deny it to myself. Late at night when I dream of what I want in life, Mason is what I see.
Sometimes I do wonder if he is right, though, that it would be better if I was to go off to college far away. Then maybe this dream I have will start to fade away. What if there was some woman out there that could give them more than I ever could? I am, after all, broken. The unwanted girl.
“You don’t like it?” Beau asks, breaking me from my thoughts. Both he and Mason are staring at me.
“I love it.” I force a smile on my face and go back to staring at the screen, having no clue what is going on in the movie.
I can feel Mason’s eyes on me. I do my best to block it and everything else, trying to get lost in the movie. I grab one of the throw pillows off the sofa and stretch out, my eyes growing heavy.
I must drift off at some point because when I wake two big arms are wrapped around me, carrying me through the house. I keep my eyes closed as Mason lays me down on my bed and pulls a blanket over me.
I don’t know how long he stands there, but it has to be a few minutes before I hear him move and flip off the light before closing my bedroom door. Was he watching me sleep? A rush of heat settles between my thighs thinking about Mason merely watching me sleep.
No matter how hard I try, I can’t get back to sleep. My mind is restless and continues to go round and round thinking about him watching me so intently and what that must mean. The man is so hard to understand. Most days, I think he dislikes me and only keeps me around for Beau’s sake. Then other days, I swear I see something different in his eyes. Something primal that lurks under the surface that wants me.
Knowing I’m not going to get back to sleep, I throw my blankets back and change into one of my sleep shirts and grab my Kindle. My stomach growls, and I remember the cookies I’d made earlier. I toss my Kindle onto my bed to go and get a snack.
Out of habit, I stop by Beau’s room and make sure he’s asleep. He’s out like a light. I wonder if Mason carried him to bed too. I bend down and kiss the top of his head before I creep back out of his room.
It’s moments like this that I know I don’t want to go away to college. Mason might not understand it, but Beau is family to me. That’s something I’ve never had before. Beau might see me as a sister, but more often than not, he feels like my little boy.
“Oh sorry.” I freeze when I walk into the kitchen and see Mason standing there. I swallow, my eyes running down his broad bare chest to his sweatpants. “I didn’t mean to—” I shake my head and turn to leave.
“You don’t have to leave.” I pause, slowly turning back around. I swear I catch Mason’s eyes lingering on my legs before he snaps them away. “Want one?” He pulls the lid off the container of cookies on the counter.
“You like them?” I ask, walking over to stand by him. He holds one out for me to take.
“Yeah. I like them. Who else do you think is eating them all?” I smirk and take a bite. I have had to make a new batch every day to keep them stocked.
“How do you eat so many cookies and….” My words trail off, my eyes dropping to his abs.
My fingers itch to reach out and touch him. I’m an adult woman, and I’ve never even touched a man’s chest before. That’s what happens when you get locked away at boarding school. Now my body is humming with a need that’s too intense to even explain. My body is waking up from a long slumber.
“I burn off my extra energy in the gym.” Erotic images of other ways he could burn off calories flash through my mind.
When did I start having such dirty thoughts? I press my thighs together; my body is out of control. I need to get out of here before I do something to embarrass myself. Like lick his chest. Or before he can smell my desire. Is that even possible? I’m so wet it’s seeping through my panties, making them stick to my sex. So maybe there is a small chance he could smell it.
“Thanks for the cookie, Mason. I should go to bed.” I go to step back to make my retreat, but his hand suddenly snaps out, locking around my wrist and stopping me.
“Drix.”
I tilt my chin up, suddenly feeling very stubborn. “Now I can call you Drix? I think I’ll pass. It’s a nice reminder where you put me in your life so I know where I stand.” I pull at my arm, but he doesn’t let my wrist go. His hold only tightens.
“You don’t want to know where you stand when it comes to me, Lila.” That same dark look from the other night flashes in his eyes from when he’d told me to run. A thrill of excitement bubbles up inside of me.
“What does—” My words are cut off when he jerks me forward. I fall into his chest as his mouth comes down onto mine. I gasp in surprise, his tongue slipping past my lips to deepen the kiss. For the first time in my life, a sense of being wanted blooms to life.