Everly
“Are you alive in there?”I don’t move. I don’t want to answer.
“Everly, love, you want some coffee?” He knocks again. I dunk my head back under the shower stream. I want to avoid any kind of interaction for just a few more minutes. Is that too much to ask?
He double-taps the dooragain. “Everly, did you hear me? I’m making some coffee. Do you want some? I can do an Americano…”
I should have left last night and never fallen asleep. Stupid move.
“Ah, yeah, no. I mean, yes, I heard you and no to the coffee. I have a brunch meeting. I’m probably running late.” I’m such a dick. I should just have coffee with him.
“Okay, no problem.” He pauses, so I assume he’s walked away.
Another tap on the door happens a moment later, and I suppress a huff. “Everly?”
“Yes?” I sing-song, louder this time.
“Stop overthinking in there, yeah?”
“Okay. I’m...I’m just trying to hurry up, Jin. I’ll be out in a few.”
I rush through washing my hair and body, all with the same kind of soap. Men have it too easy. One and done. I smell like citrus pine from top to toes now. Margaritas must have altered my state of smell last night because this morning it’s like a floor cleaner and Christmas tree water had a baby and I’m coated in it.
After the hot shower, I glob toothpaste on my finger and run it around my mouth, trying to rid that tequila-tasting reflux from my tongue, and remove that nice morning fur from my teeth. When I step out of the ensuite bathroom, I grab my black pencil skirt and pull it up and over my still-damp hips. Jin left out a gray Riggs Outdoor sweatshirt for me instead of the rumpled blouse I wore over here last night, so I throw that on next. I’m pretty sure I busted some buttons on the blouse while trying to get off, now that I think of it.
Last night was an entirely different tone than what I’m putting off right now. When you’re ecstatic about the turn your life is taking, naturally, you celebrate. So, that’s what we did.
Yesterday my life felt put together. Organized. The polar opposite of today. Yesterday, I woke up alone. And that’s not a complaint. I was prepared for the day ahead. I was nervous as hell, but I felt confident in the level of work my brothers and I had done in preparation for our board of directors meeting that evening. Today, I woke up to one of the board members of my father’s company face down on the pillow next to me.
Jin and I are colleagues. Friendly. Flirty. It’s happened a few times before, but it's never been a hot and heavy affair, more like an agreement or transaction.How depressing does that sound?There was thought behind it, and when there’s thought, you lose the heat. Instead, I settled for a warm bed. Not even a spark. And I want fire.
Shit,what time is it right now?
Riggs Outdoor Sports & Apparel is a family business. My father leads the company, but it’s my brothers and me that have made it the most successful outdoor sports business in Colorado. I’m not exaggerating when I say we have become the most sought-after brand in the industry. My father opened the company as a small storefront long before he had any of us. That’s more than thirty years ago now. It all happened shortly after falling in love with my mother, and in addition, our home in Strutt’s Peak. It started as a simple rental and sporting goods store on Main Street, catering to the winter sports goers. As our family grew up and the tourists kept pouring in year-round, there was so much more to offer, and money to be made. Throw that in with one of the smartest businessmen you’ll ever meet, and it’s a jackpot.
I’ve been working for the business since I was twelve, helping out in the store where I could, but when I came back from New York City where I finished my undergrad, I decided I could turn it into something even more spectacular. That was more than a decade ago now.
My father navigates all of it as President and CEO, but I drive it forward as his VP. My hands are in all aspects, from budget numbers to client bookings. It’s how I like it. Organized and in control. My three brothers have carved out their roles and are great at what they do, but in the end, it’s all for the same goals: continue to grow the business, do it together, and support the small town that we all call home.
I hear my phone chime from somewhere in the pile of blankets on the bed. Buried under the mess of sheets and a very fluffy duvet, I see that it was already 11 a.m., and my best girl, Giselle, texted me.
G:Tell me you overslept from a night of dirty sex. That is the only reason I'll forgive you for making me wait in this coffee shop alone right now.
G is one of those people with whom everyone falls in love. She’s outgoing and unapologetically curious, and it took barely any time to realize that she’s my person. She’s my Christina Yang. I never understood what a ride or die meant until her. And damn, do we have a good time. When you see us together, you’d never assume it. We’re opposites in every obvious way, but the same in all the ways that count. We balance each other out, and at a time in our lives when we needed an unapologetically real and rowdy friendship, we met each other. That was just about twelve years ago now, after I moved back home, and she strolled into our small town.
In my very biased opinion, my best friend is the full package. She’s funny as hell, kind without even trying to be, whip-smart, and is always there for me when I need her. But she is not someone who falls in line or subscribes to conventional thinking. She’s never in a relationship and prefers it that way. We joke all the time about how she’s the master of the meaningless hookup. She almost has it down to a science and makes no apologies for wanting what she does. Usually, the men she meets are all for it at the start, but then many of them tend to catch feelings and she’s already begun her exit strategy. I think it’s brilliant, a woman who knows what she wants, and more importantly, what she doesn’t. I wish I was built like that. I’m just not.
Every time Jin and I do this, I hate myself a little more for it. If I’m being honest, it’s solely because of the need to be with someone in the moment. The sex is okay-ish. It scratches an itch. It’s very vanilla. Vanilla is a great flavor. But, when you know there are other flavors you want to try, then vanilla just gets the job done. Now that I think of it, every time I came last night, it was because I was pushing my own button. We simply don’t have chemistry.
We make sense on paper. We’re both good-looking, great businesspeople, smart in the boardroom, decently wealthy, and single. God, even saying that sounds pathetic. It’s more like a resume than a compatibility list.
After so many years of refusing to make time to date and letting work come first, I’m here. In myalmostmid-thirties with a fabulous career and bank account, but a less than mediocre sex life. And a barely there dating life. What’s even more depressing is there is not a single person in my past that wasthe one that got away. I haven’t met anyone that I’d even try to make room for. It’s a barren landscape of men. Strutt’s Peak has a roster of mediocrity, but then when I lived in Manhattan it was a lot of bros, trust fund douches, and artsy disappointments. I thirst for the idea of falling into a maddening lust and that soul-level kind of love with someone who could match my ambition but still relish in the closeness of family.
I’ve resigned myself to thinking that maybe that kind of partner isn’t the one I’m destined to be with. Someone like Jin, who isn’t cringe-worthy, is a totally decent guy. Then that’s what gets me here, and I’m reminded the next morning that there’s nothing exceptional when we’re together. That’s where I’m at in my life right now. On the cusp of becoming a cliché and settling for average versus being utterly alone.
There’s probably an ample number of women who would love to be where I am right now. You don’t settle for a guy like Jin. He’s a catch. He intimidates people from a business perspective, but it’s his kind eyes and the dimple on his chin that made me want to cross the line. Looking is where I should have stopped. Now, I’m trying to talk myself into a relationship with someone I know I should want. But I don't.
“Get your shit together,” I whisper to myself, then take a breath and open the bedroom door. I walk down the long hallway and into the brightly lit main space of Jin’s loft. His wealth is obvious, and the decor understated, but he flaunts it where it counts. A view of the mountains splashes across the floor-to-ceiling windows as I make my way into the living room. The view is almost as nice as the one from my place.Almost.