“I switched out your birth control pills.”
I stare at the man that I love and feel my heart split into two.
“Get out,” I say, my voice hoarse and scratchy.
“Malenkaya—”
I shake my head. “Get out,” I yell, glad that I’m strong enough to do so. “Get the fuck out.”
“You think, dorogaya, that you kicking me out is going to make me leave? That it’ll make this thing between us vanish?” He shakes his head. “No, malenkaya, it won’t. I’ll go, let you rest, but I’ll be back.”
“Don’t,” I choke out. “I don’t want to see you.”
I tense as he steps closer to me, his hand cups my cheek. “Listen to me, malenkaya, and hear my words. I do not regret what I have done, you are my light, my love, mine. I will do everything in my power to ensure that you are happy and healthy. This baby is a blessing, dorogaya, one that we’ll cherish.”
I swallow hard at his words. Why the hell does he have to be so damn sweet. “You forced me to get pregnant, Nikolai, a baby was never in my plans. I never wanted to be like my mother.”
He sits on the bed next to me, his breath hot against my face. “You are nothing like that suka, Lena. Nothing. You care about the people you love. Your mother only gave a fuck about herself. But you need not worry about her any longer. She’s not a threat anymore.”
I close my eyes as his words sink in. “You killed her.” It's a statement.
“She hurt you, malenkaya, that’s not something I’ll ever allow anyone to do, mother or not.”
“I was going to kill her,” I whisper, feeling grateful that he has taken the task away from me.
“You would have, dorogaya, but you shouldn’t have to face that burden. I on the other hand had no qualms taking her out an’ did so.” He goes on to tell me how my mother and he weren’t really married and that nothing had happened between them. I feel relieved that what we have isn’t anything to do with my mother but simply because of the attraction we have. “But, malenkaya, it does not change the fact that you are pregnant. That together we are having a child.”
“I’m so very mad at you,” I tell him and the bastard smiles at me. “Don’t smile, there’s nothing to smile about.”
“Actually, dorogaya, there is. You’re mine, we are going to have a baby, be a family.”
I glare at him, that is the wrong thing to say right now. “If that’s the case, Nikolai, then why the hell didn’t you consult me when you made life changing decisions? Decisions that affect me?”
He cradles my face with both of his hands. “I am a selfish man, Melenkaya, one that will do whatever it takes in order to get what I want. And that, dorogaya, was you and having you pregnant with my child.”
“So what, job done, you can now go and find someone else?”
His eyes darken, his nostrils flare, and his grip on me tightens. “Fuck no,” he snarls. “Listen, malenkaya, you are mine, there is no one else. You even think of running and I’ll find you. I’ll bring you back.”
I stare at him utterly confused. “Why?” Why the hell has he done this?
“Ah, malenkaya,” he whispers. “Ya lublu tebya, moya dorogaya.” (I love you, my sweetheart.)
My mouth drops open at his words. He chuckles. “Speechless, malenkaya?”
I nod, swallowing back the tears. “I didn’t expect to hear those words.”
Hell, I didn’t think love was an emotion that Nikolai was capable of. The man rarely talks, we rarely talk, it’s just been sex with us. His gentleness with me is what broke through the barrier and made me see more than just the Pakhan of the Bratva,
His smile reaches his eyes. “Dorogaya,” he murmurs. “Do you love me?”
I’m unable to keep the smile from my face. “Ya lublu tebya,” I whisper, and it feels so good to say the words. Ones that I have been hiding in fear of rejection. (I love you.)
“Moya prekrasnaya, dorogaya.” he gently presses his lips against mine and I know that there’s no hope in hell that I’d be able to stay mad at him for too long.
From the moment we met, he’s shown me how much he truly cares about me. He’s never made me feel as though I’m nothing but a fuck to him. I fell hard for him because he showed me his true self. While he’s fucked up and made decisions that affect us both—I’m still pretty pissed about it—but I do know that I’ll get over it. He’s not the only one that’s made mistakes. I have too. But hopefully, we can move forward together.
“No more tricks, Nikolai,” I tell him as he pulls back. “Talk to me if you want something.”