“I could.” I pulled my dagger from my boot and held it to his neck before he could realize what I was doing. “I’m not completely useless, you know.”
“I don’t think anyone could ever find you useless, princess.” Evren grinned even with my knife pressed to his neck. “I could find many uses for you and for your dagger.”
“What?”
He moved so quickly that I didn’t have time to react. He flipped my dagger from my hand and into his before he slowly ran the tip along my collarbone.
“Would you like me to show you?”
“No.” My voice trembled with the lie on my tongue.
“If only you had more clothes with you.” Ever so carefully, he moved the dagger down my chest until it met the top button of my shirt. “I would cut through every bit of fabric that’s standing between us.”
He slid the dagger lower and cut through the first button. “I would cut the world down to keep it from getting between us.”
“You confuse me.” I shook my head and pressed my hand against his to stop my dagger. “You say things like that, but you’re willing to hand me straight to them.”
“What do you want me to do, princess?” He let my dagger fall to the ground beside us. “Tell me what you want, and I’ll give it to you.”
“I don’t know.” I shook my head because I was more confused than ever. I didn’t know what I was asking of Evren, but either way, I knew it wasn’t fair. Gavril was his family. Citlali his kingdom.
And I was nothing more than the Starblessed he was meant to protect.
Evren pressed his hand to my chest, his fingers digging into my skin, as if he was searching for his control, and he felt as desperate as I did inside.
“If I knew how to do this, I would. If I knew how to love you without getting you hurt, I would never allow them to touch you again.”
“Your family?”
“Your enemies.” His hand slid up my chest and around my neck. My pulse raced beneath the tips of his fingers, and I knew he could feel the fear that ran through my veins.
“I don’t want to go back.” My voice cracked, and I hated how easily my fear was taking over. I had spent my whole life knowing what lay ahead for me, preparing for it, but it hadn’t been enough.
“I know.” He nodded and pressed his forehead to mine. “I won’t make you.”
“What?” I jerked back to look at him, but his hands held me firmly in place.
“I would rather leave this world than to watch my brother take from you again. I will give up everything for you, princess.”
I searched his gaze, and I could see the truth that lay there.
“What do we do?” I rose to my knees to pull myself closer to him, and his breath rushed out against my lips.
“I don’t know.” He shook his head against me. “But we’ll figure it out with the rise of the sun. Tonight, you need to rest.”
He started to pull away, but I held him against me. I couldn’t let him go. Not now. Not ever. “Tonight, I need you.”
Evren looked over to where Jorah was sleeping only a few feet away from us, but I didn’t care. I couldn’t go another moment without touching him, without feeling alive in a way that only he could make me feel.
“Please, Evren.” I pressed my lips to his, and he didn’t fight me. Instead, he groaned against my mouth before he sucked my bottom lip between his. He bit down gently, teasingly, and pleasure coursed through me.
I reached forward before he could stop me and pulled his shirt from his trousers before I fumbled with the buttons. I was only halfway done when he reached behind him and pulled his shirt over his head.
He searched my gaze for a moment before he wrapped his hand back around the nape of my neck and forced my mouth to his once again. He kissed me with a desperation that I had never felt before. Tonight was different.
It felt like more.
More than what we had ever allowed ourselves to feel for one another. More than I ever allowed myself to admit.