“No,” I bark out. “I didn’t use you. I used your situation because the moment I met you I became obsessed with you. You’re everything, Lily.”
I look up at Elio and notice Lorenzo on the other side of the room, but he’s not looking at me or Lily, he’s looking at Daisy who seems to have shrunk into herself as if she’s afraid to be noticed. As if she’s afraid we’ll someday do to her what I know Lily’s father was going to do to her. We won’t. We might protect Daisy, but we want her to be happy. She’s not a pawn either.
I shake it off because I don’t have time to delve into Daisy’s worries, not when I have my woman in front of me with tearstained cheeks. When I reach for her again, she doesn’t flinch, but it does nothing to soothe the feeling of emptiness in my chest. I wipe away her tears with my thumbs.
“There is part of me that wishes I could tell you I’m sorry, but I’m not going to lie to you.” Her derisive snort almost makes me smile and chuckle; almost. “I’m,” I pause and decide jumping in feet first is the only way to go, “going to make this right.”
She narrows her eyes at me, her voice thick, “What does that mean? You can’t undo the past.”
I shake my head slowly, my eyes locked with her dark brown eyes, the ones I’ve wanted to be lost in since the moment I met her. “I can’t undo the past, you’re right,Gattina, but I can balance the scales.” The confusion on her face is adorable and my heart clenches, but this is the right thing to do. “I love you. I’ve loved you from the moment you walked into my office, and I knew I had to make you mine. I didn’t see any other way that allowed you freedom from everything but me. Maybe I should have found another way, but I am who I am. I’m an Agosti and we take what we want. You’re the only thing I want.”
Her breath hitches and her eyes fill with unshed tears. She whispers, “You love me? Love doesn’t balance the scales, Constantino.”
I take a deep breath and close my eyes before letting it out slowly. “I know.” I look at Lorenzo and then Elio, hoping they understand what I’m about to do. I hope Daisy and Luca understand as well. “All you have to do is say the word and Elio or Lorenzo will kill me.”
Lily and Daisy gasp as one. I don’t look away from my woman’s eyes, I want her to see how fucking serious I am. I took something from her that wasn’t mine to take, and I did it to fuel my own beast because I couldn’t imagine a life without her in it.
I might not be sorry, but I also know it wasn’t right.
Lily gasps, “What?”
“You heard me,” my voice is measured. I’m prepared to die. I always have been. It’s always something looming when you grow up as an Agosti. “It’s at your discretion, Lily.”
I see panic in her eyes and, for some reason I can’t even begin to understand, it makes my heart thump against the inside of my chest. “You’re fucking psychotic,” her voice is full of awe and accusation.
“Maybe,” I shrug one shoulder as if I haven’t just laid my life at her feet. I know I have; she knows it too. “You can choose to end my life because of what I took from you. No one will fault you for it.” She starts to pull her face from my hands to look around, but I tighten my grip instead. She needs to hear the next part. “If you choose to let me live, then you’re mine. In all ways. You’ll still be mine. You’ll give yourself over to me. All of you—mind, body, soul and heart. All of you.”
“You killed my father,” she reasons.
It sounds like she’s talking to herself more than to me and I can’t help but smirk and point out, “I had him killed. There’s a difference.”
She glares at me, but something softens in her gaze. Her voice is full of sass, “This is not a soda versus pop debate, Constantino.”
I scoff, “We’re cultured around here,Gattina, it’s soda.”
She snorts out a laugh but sobers quickly. Her gaze is so intense as she looks at me, I’m not sure what is about to come out of her mouth.
Elio’s growl is full of impatience, “You hold his life in your hands, Lily. What do you want to do?”
We both look over to see Elio, gun in hand at his side. Even if I live tonight, I can tell by the look in his eyes I’ll have some things to answer for. I arch my eyebrow and shrug a little at the unspoken conversation between us.
I’m still not sorry.
“I...I,” Lily pauses and licks her lips, “I don’t want Constantino’s death on my hands.” She sighs heavily, her eyes piercing me. “I would not be okay with you dying. I know it’s fucked up and it makes no damn sense, but,” her voice drops to a whisper, “I love you too.”
I lean into her, elation filling me in a way I’ve never experienced before. “What did you say?”
She rolls her eyes which makes me want to spank her ass and huffs out a breath. Her voice is louder and surer this time, “I love you too, Constantino Agosti. Even though you’re definitely unhinged.”
I take her lips in a bruising kiss. All the fear of losing her is poured into it to be met with simmering anger coming from her. She might not be willing to let me die tonight, even though it was within her right to do so, but she’s not going to forget about this either. I’d rather have my balls in the vice of her choosing than not have her in my life, so I’ll take it.
I mumble against her lips, “Not unhinged, just obsessed and in love with you, my wife.”
She gasps and pulls away from me, narrowing her eyes when she looks at me. “We aren’t married.”
“Yet,” I counter and fiddle with the ring on her finger, reminding her it’s still there.
Maybe I should have known it was going to work out because she didn’t fling it at my head. It was the farthest thing from my mind at the time. I just knew I had to get to her. I knew I had to try and sacrificing myself was a small price to pay.