Evelyn’s smile is back, and she’s ushering me into her place, leading me to the couch where I dump my bag and myself.
“You’re confused? Well then I’ve got bad news- so am I. At school, Logan was more pissed off than usual and just when I thought we were starting to grow on each other, we broke out in a fight. I still have no clue why he was so damn angry with me. We started shoving each other around and next thing I knew, I was on top of him…”
Evelyn's eyes are back to their wide expression and her face is flush. Is this turning her on?
“Anyway, we ended up having sex, and then he bolted before either of us could say anything. I didn’t even get my clothes back on. I’m confused, and now I’m wondering if I’m into men. But like, I still want women. I still want you. And I don’t even know if I’m attracted to him or if I even like him in general and-”
“Whoa, whoa, whoa.”
Evelyn lays her hand on my leg and somehow, the light touch is exactly what I need.
“Take a deep breath,” she says.
We sigh together.
“I’m not an expert or anything, but just because you had sex with him doesn’t make you gay, even if youareattracted to him. Sexuality is a big, big subject. It can be a little complicated, but you just have to remember that there aren’t any rules,Sean. You could be attracted to women and only Logan, or men and only me. Maybe you’re into guys one day and women the next or maybe you’re physically attracted to some men and emotionally attracted to women.”
It’s a little confusing, everything Evelyn is saying, but it’s helping. I wonder if she can see the confusion I’m still feeling.
“Why don’t you stay the night? I’m a little worried.”
I don’t even need to think about it.
“Okay.”
Evelyn leaves the room for only a moment, coming back with blankets and wine glasses. I can’t help but laugh at her solution to a problem that I feel like only we would have.
“What about Logan?” I ask.
“What about him?”
“He’s still angry with me for some reason and I didn’t even get a chance to talk to him after we…”
Evelyn sips her wine and cuddles close to me under the blanket.
“There’s nothing we can do as long as he keeps shutting us out. If he wants to communicate with us about it, then we can try to help, but until then - it’s on him.”
Goddamn, she’s wise.
I sip the sweet wine with her and hug her under the blanket.
How can this woman, ten years younger than myself, make me feel so secure and safe?
The rest of the night, we talk, we watch movies and eat popcorn and drink more wine. It’s such an amazing time and I realize I want Evelyn even more than I knew. The fact that I’m staying the night, not even for sex, says a lot to me.
We cuddle under the blanket and lean against each other with the lights off and TV blaring until we fall asleep. It’s the best sleep I’ve ever gotten.