“No, I won’t. We cut her some slack and now she won’t do that for us.”
“Cut me some slack? You used me and you knew that you were doing it.”
“It was just a dumb game,” Andrew says.
“Yes, it was. We are very sorry about it,” Dylan says.
Both Dylan and Andrew give me a little space. The three of us stand there looking at each other. I feel like someone has kicked me in the stomach. Standing there with these two men, I realize that I still have feelings for them.
Feelings always get me in trouble. These two have no right to be in my life. They betrayed me in the worst way. I need to get away from them.
“What’s it going to be Hazel? Can we sit and talk?” Dylan asks.
“Please Hazel, the three of us are good together. Let’s talk this out,” Andrew says.
Curses run through my brain, but I can’t decide on just one. Wanting and needing to say something clever, I rack my brain. But there are no words for what I’m feeling.
Closing my eyes and making fists with my hands is all I can do.
“Get away from me!” I shout.
Both Dylan and Andrew step back. There are people that are staring at us. Luckily, we are not in our flight uniforms, so we are just three crazy people having a fight.
“I’m going to pick up my bags and walk away and I suggest that you let me.”
“Hazel??”
I raise my hand to stop either one of them from talking. They stop and then let me pass. They are getting to the point that trying to talk to me is futile. I don’t think they understand that it’s only a matter of time before I fuck them up.
Running towards the ladies room, I feel my eyes tearing up. When I push the door open, I pray that there is no one in the lady’s restroom.
Putting down my bags and checking the stalls before I cry is the last bit of control I have over myself. The tears come fast. It’s like a flash flood running down my face.
My muscles relax, and I slide down the bathroom tile wall and onto the floor. I can’t take any of this anymore. The overwhelming disappointment and the grief that I feel are too intense.
As I begin to sob, I know that this is all way over my head. It’s just too much for me to handle.
What am I going to do during this long ass international flight? How am I going to ignore them? It’s a nearly impossible ask.