Isaac
Emma is a staple in my life, like the food I eat, and the water I drink. When the three of us started this whole thing, I didn’t know what she could possibly mean to me.
When I wake up in the morning, my first thought is if Emma slept well last night. I see something that I know she’ll like and I have to get it for her. I’ve never been in a relationship with someone who makes me want to be and do better.
Except for Luke. He does something to me that turns me into a better person too.
They’re both a home that I’ve never had before.
Where is this whole thing supposed to end with us? I mean, do we all get married? Do all three of us have children together? Live together? Sleep in the same bed like we have? Forever?
My legs are moving, pacing up and down the sidewalk outside Emma’s brand new house. They move without me telling them to, expelling the physical energy my mind is creating. Before I know it, I’m circling the block.
After loving her and almost losing her, I can’t live without Emma. I almost saw what that would be like and it scared the shit out of me. Still, I know she loves Luke the same way she loves me. I also know she’s not willing to let him go either.
I can’t say I disagree with her.
If she were to drop Luke for me, where would that leave us? Will I have to give up my best friend?
The things we’ve done together have changed me. He’s changed me. Sometimes, even when Emma’s not there, I see him in ways as if she is.
If we’re on the job, I notice the little things. I see the way his sweat trickles down his face or the way he smells like smoke and cologne in the morning. When he took charge during the warehouse fire, I saw how serious he can be. I saw how reliable he is and how he’s always been there for me.
If we had died right then and there, it might not have been so bad because we were all together.
Regardless of my feelings, that doesn’t change the fact that I have serious questions. I mean, this can’t be a long term thing, can it?
My back hits the brick of a random building as I stare up at the sky. Oranges, violets, pinks, and reds cast overhead as the sun sets. I’m suddenly extremely aware of how alone I am, but I can imagine Luke on one side of me and Emma on the other. They’re giggling at something stupid, probably trying to annoy me but it backfires and we all end up laughing.
I miss them already.
Am I really willing to give up this once in a lifetime love, just because of what others might think?
Fuck no.
My feet are moving faster than they ever have. The worst fire has nothing on my speed right now. I circle the corner and panic sets in.
What if she doesn’t accept my apology? What if she’s already chosen Luke over me? How have I let two people make me so goddamn soft?
My heart thumps harder than hooves on a race track, but my body is still moving. I finally reach Emma’s door and don’t even bother knocking.
Where the hell are they?
Emma’s gasp leads my eyes to the floor. She’s straddling Luke in front of the fireplace. Their clothes are still on, so I haven’t exactly caught them in the act, but I’m shocked at how hard the sight has me. Instead of jealousy flaring inside me, a deep desire yearns to bend them both over.
“Isaac!”
Luke’s smile tells me he’s glad I came back, which I crave.
“I need to say something.”
My breathing is hard.
“I left because the idea of this-us- it scares me.”
The door slams behind me with a thud, but I hardly notice. My veins are pumping too much blood for me to hear anything other than what I’m about to say.
“I don’t know where the hell this is going or what our future is going to look like. You know me. I like rules. I like order, but this… This is chaos. Fucking beautiful chaos. It’s the best love I’ve ever had, and I can’t live without you.Eitherof you.”