Luke
The interview is the most grueling thing I’ve ever been through in my career as a firefighter. I am a good talker when I need to be but during this interview, I can’t get outside of myself enough to say the things I know I should be saying.
Question after question I fail to say the right thing. I am just one awkward talker. Somehow, I have lost my ability to dazzle with my words.
Don’t get me wrong, I was able to give good answers. I did not fail the interview. I just did not earn the highest possible score.
In fact, Isaac, who is usually not good at answering questions, gets almost the same score that I did. He will have to do poorly on the written exam for me to win this promotion. Talk about being disappointed in myself. I had a chance to get way ahead, but I did not achieve it.
I am the definition of frustration. Getting this promotion is especially important to me. The only way I am going to get it is if I exceed all expectations. And here I am just being average.
Going home and sitting on my sofa to sulk, seems to be my only option. It doesn’t feel good. All I can do is replay each question and answer in my head. It’s driving me crazy.
Walking to the fridge to get a beer feels too lonely. I don’t like to dwell. Consequently, I decide that this would be a good time to visit someone so that I can get out of my head.
I decide to go visit Emma. There is no one else that I want to talk to. Emma is a kind and understanding person and that’s what I need right now: kindness and understanding.
“Hello?” Emma says when she opens her apartment door.
“Emma, do you have time to talk to me?”
“Sure, I don’t work tonight so I have all the time in the world.”
Emma lets me into her apartment and has me sit on her sofa. She sits on one end, and I sit close to her.
“Now Isaac has the advantage. He’s a good guy but I don’t think he is cut out for this promotion. But look at him now, he is excelling.”
Explaining to Emma that I bombed the interview is easy. She is such a great listener.
“It’s over Emma. I might as well drop out.”
“What’s the next step?” Emma asks.
“The written test that I am sure I am going to mess up.”
“Why do you say that?”
“If I couldn’t do my best at the interview, how can I expect to do well on the written test?”
“That’s silly. You can’t make that kind of conclusion. Just because you had a bad day today.”
“Emma, you just don’t understand.”
“Sure, I do. When I had to audition to get my job, I had just gotten over the flu. But you know what I did?”
“What?”
“I gave myself a shot of self-confidence and went out on that stage and gave the performance of my life.”
“This is different Emma.”
“How? All you’ve got to do is believe in yourself. Just like me, you are going to do well when you believe.”
At this point, I have nothing to lose by talking about my deepest fears. Emma is a good listener. She makes me feel better with her comments.
“Luke, don't convince yourself that you won’t do well. Think positive and you will get another opportunity. If this doesn’t pan out, you will get another chance.”
“I hope so. You make it sound so easy.”