Isaac
“Are you ready for the proof that I am an exemplary human specimen in peak physical condition?” I ask Emma.
I want to drink after the physical test, so I immediately call Emma. She makes time to celebrate personal accomplishments (especially when I have a bottle of liquor in hand).
“Well, if the fire department says it, I have to believe it,” she smiles at her front door before throwing it wide open and welcoming me in.
“Get some glasses, girl! I demand acknowledgment of my success in the form of drunken pizza and a marathon of Rocky movies,” I insist.
“I don’t have the Rocky movies. I don’t think,” Emma informs me with a nervous tone.
“Fine. What about Schitt’s Creek?” I suggest.
“We can pretend you hook up with the sister in real life,” Emma giggles.
“Only if she keeps her mouth shut. She stays much hotter that way,” I muse.
“Do you think I’m prettier?” Emma asks me.
“Absolutely. She looks like dog shit next to you,” I comfort Emma, and she smirks a bit.
I don’t know much in this world, but I know to reassure a woman about her appearance when she asks.
“So tell me more about your test results before the liquor kicks in,” she implores.
“Well, Luke gives me the biggest grief, so I want to beat him. He scores higher in one area but not by much at all. I’m quite pleased,” I say.
“Let’s celebrate with some fattening pizza,” Emma suggests.
“Perfect. I am craving cheese and carbs,” I respond.
“Do you think Luke will beat you in other areas?” Emma wants to know.
“Well, I don’t take him barely winning so hard since I know I perform well on written exams. From what I know, he struggles in that area,” I gossip.
“What? You need to pass high school to become a firefighter. He can’t bethatdumb. Plus, he runs circles around half of the other guys in the station,” Emma points out.
“Well, I think he lets tests get into his brain.”
“True. I’m like that sometimes. I once got a sample question wrong, afraid that I didn’t see the trick,” Emma recalls.
“I’m not trying to put the guy down. However, I can’t help but admit I want to beat him for the promotion. Sometimes, I feel bad about how competitive I get,” I confess.
“Animals compete for food and mates in the wild. It’s only natural,” Emma mentions.
“I’m not competing for food or mates,” I object.
“Of course you are. When you fight for a job that pays more money, you can buy more food. This will attract more mates,” Emma tells me.
“Do you think animals have one particular rival like humans?” I wonder.
“You consider Luke a rival?” Emma questions.
“Of course,” I say.
“I see a bit of admiration when you talk about him,” Emma casually observes.
“Well, he works hard at the same thing I work hard at. We share similar goals, so I like to use him as a bit of a marker for me to gauge how I’m doing. I like how I am, so I do acknowledge I find his similarities to me impressive,” I admit arrogantly.