Peter
The past couple of days have been confusing and kind of lonely. I haven’t seen or even spoken with Becky, and I’m still trying to avoid Darian after the last altercation that him and I had. Yes, I know that I should probably just be an adult and suck it up- but that’s a lot easier said than done.
I’m about to go grab a quick bite to eat from my kitchen, when I hear a knock on the door. Fuck, I had almost forgotten that Darian texted me and told me he was coming over.
I open the door for him, and turn around, leading him to the living room. I know exactly why he’s here.
“Look Darian, I know you’re probably here because of the deal I signed. But you need to trust me on this. I know what I’m doing and-”
“I don’t care,” he cuts me off.
“What?”
“That’s not why I’m here. I’m because of Becky. I think something is terribly wrong. I don’t know where she is or what happened- but this girl is risking her life to catch these scumbags. We can’t let them get her.”
I’m silent, allowing myself a moment to think. I’ve been worried about why Becky has been ignoring my calls, but I thought it was because the last time I saw her, she was kicking us out of her apartment for fighting. Not once did I suspect it was something else.
But the more Darian talks, the more that it sounds more logical. She would never just ghost us like this unless something was terribly wrong.
Not only that, but I’ve never known Darian to be someone that overreacts. So if he’s to the point where he thinks something is wrong- then I one hundred percent believe him.
“Okay, I agree. We need to do something.”
“Good. But Peter?”
“Yes?”
I meet his eyes, which soften as we look at each other.
“If we’re going to do this, we need to be on the same page. Meaning we need to talk about the elephant in the room and bury this hatchet between us. We’re not going to be able to put Becky’s safety at the front of our minds if we’re thinking about how much we hate each other. We can’t work efficiently like that.”
“I agree. So let’s just get it all out on the table.”
He doesn’t waste a minute.
“I’m sorry for sleeping with Vanessa. But you have to understand that I didn’t sleep with her on purpose. I wasn’t doing it to spite you- I had no idea that you were coming back home that night. And if I knew what you were coming to say to me… you have to believe that I wouldn’t have done something like that.”
My stomach churns and my throat burns. I’ve wanted to hear him say these words to me for so damn long.
“But Darian… why didn’t you just say that at the time? Or all these years? Why have you never told me this?”
“Because, Peter- I was angry at you. The night that I caught you with Vanessa, I was coming to apologize to you. Not only that, but I was going to tell you that I loved you. And when I saw you with her, and the things you said to me- I just couldn’t look at you anymore. It hurt too much that you could purposely hurt me like that.”
“But Darian, you did the same thing to me, and you did it first.”
“No, I didn’t. Look, I know what I did was terrible. I never meant for you to see what you walked in on. But it was an accident. What you did was on purpose. You did it just to hurt me. I just couldn’t forgive you for that.”
“Wow… I’m really sorry. I’ve never really thought of it like that. But honestly, it wasn’t just seeing you with her that angered me. I thought we had something, I thought it was just you and me. I perceived that as you cheating on me…”
“What? Peter… I would never cheat on you. I didn’t know that we were exclusive- I mean, I wanted to be- but we never talked about it. I wasn’t sure how you felt, because at that point neither of us were even talking to each other about our feelings.”
“You’re right, we weren’t. But in that moment, that didn’t matter to me. I was just so hurt and so angry. I just did the first thing I could think of that would hurt you. I’m so sorry, Darian.”
“I’m sorry too. I think this whole situation was just a huge misunderstanding, mixed with lack of communication on both sides. Not only that, but just some really terrible timing,” he laughs.
We laugh together for a minute, and it truly feels like old times. Then we fall silent, and our faces get serious as we stare at each other. And in this moment, there’s only one thing I can think of- I want to kiss him.
I lift my hand up to his cheek, caressing it the way I used to do when we would fall asleep next to one another. Sweeping his hair back, I get a good look at him. He really is such a beautiful man, even more now than he was in college- which I didn’t think was even possible.