Natalie
“Are you out of your mind?!” Josie shouts through bites of vegetable lo mein. We’re on her couch, snuggled up with some Chinese food and wine. It’s an interesting pairing, but I’m grateful.
“I don’t know, Joze,” I groan and pick at my cardboard container.
“I mean, yeah the whole scandal thing totally cost you your dream job, sorry about that again, but you had a fucking billionaire nailing the hell out of you!”
“Yeah —”
“And you actually liked the guy!” She waves her chopsticks dramatically, and shakes her head at me like an angry yenta. “So….?” she asks, her eyes wide.
“So, what?” I retort, exasperated. I knew she’d be supportive of my finally having a decent ‘relationship’ with a guy, but I didn’t think I’d get the third degree.
“So, what’s the problem? He’s stinking rich, he’s thoughtful, he’s sexy, he cares about you...andyou like him!”
I sink further into the couch and stuff my face with food to stall.
In truth, I don’t have an answer. Why am I eating Chinese food and sleeping on my friend’s lovely floral couch when I could be living a fabulous life on the arm of some rich real estate magnate? I mean, hewasclearly into me, right?
Yeah, before I blew it.I think and spoon in another mouthful before Josie can demand a response. I really did blow it. No sooner had I made my big move into the shithole apartment, that the whole place goes under a tent for lice.
“Like, why are you here?” Josie asks what I’ve already been thinking. “Not that I don’t love having you, you know that. But, clearly, there’s a better offer on the table here and I’m disappointed you chose me.”
I choke on my rice, trying not to laugh and spew it all over her couch.
“Agh!” I yell as I finally swallow. “You’re right, okay? You’re right, you’re right, are you happy? I made a stake for my independence and for what? A tent full of lice. I wouldn’t recommend it,” I add as I brandish my chopsticks.
“But it doesn’t matter anyway. He’s phantomed me again.” Josie raises an eyebrow. “Never mind. I mean he’s not answering any of my texts!”
“Oh, fuck that!” Josie scoffs. “Gimme your phone, gimme his number!”
“I’m not giving you my phone, you looney,” I mutter and take a swig of wine. “But… here’s his number.”What the hell, it’s girl’s night, right?She giggles like mad when she types in his digits and sets to work.
“What are you saying? Let me see!” I groan as I try to scootch toward her. She puts her foot against my chest and holds me at bay, her tongue stuck firmly in her teeth as she types away.
“Jesus, Josie, is that a novel?” She shushes me and finishes her text with a flourish. Taking a sip of wine, she grins at me like the Cheshire cat before holding up her hand. She counts down, mouthing the numbers —five, four, three, two, one.
Ding!Her phone goes off like clockwork. My mouth hangs open. “How did you do that?!”
She shushes me and sets to work again, texting away. “Don’t you dare, Josie, what are you saying to him?!”
“Shushies,” Josie says as she finishes her text.
Ding!Another response.That bitch!How come he responds so readily to her? I’m about to ask her as much when she gets a very mischievous look in her eye.
“I am regretting giving you his number,” I say reaching for the phone, but she presses her foot against me and forces me back. I clutch my rice and shoot daggers at her, but she continues, happy in her matchmaking.
Ifthat’s what she’s even doing.
Ding!This is going to be the death of me. I stuff an egg roll in my face and pray whatever she’s saying isn’t incriminating. I thought this would be fun, this whole BFF night. Instead, it’s my own personal hell.
“Just leave it to me, babe.”So much for my independence, I think grumpily. She smiles as she sends her last message.
Ding!She reads the response rapid fire, and with a satisfied nod, sets the phone under her butt and out of reach.
“So, that bitch Gabby —”
“Are you kidding me!?” I rage as I sit up. “You can’t just bypass everything that happened there, Josie.”