DREW
Kate was barely lookingat me as we ate lunch. Could that possibly have anything to do with what her cute nephew had said when we'd walked through the door?
Why would Tayden assume I was her new boyfriend? Why would he assume she'd have a new boyfriend at all? She had just married Nolan last summer. They were still married, right? Didn’t she say he was out of town?
Plus, I specifically remembered seeing that huge rock on her finger multiple times. Felt it dig into my hand when I'd touched it just last week.
I glanced at her across the table, hoping to catch a glimpse of her left hand, but it was still hiding from my view.
Was she doing that on purpose?
The lunch conversation drifted from the laid-back catching-up type of talk to memories of Aiden. And I could hardly believe it had been seven years since we’d hung out. Seven years since I'd stepped inside this house?
It was crazy how long it had been—and yet, it still didn't feel real that I wouldn't see Aiden again in this life.
I still remembered the day it hit me. Because of the condition of Aiden’s body after the accident, there had been no viewing. No viewing meant no closure…not really. Was Aiden really,reallydead? The truth wouldn’t cement itself in my mind.
Because one day, we were hanging out—Aiden talking about how things were going with his new girlfriend, me complaining about my biology professor, and both of us going home for the weekend to hang out with family and friends in Burbank. And then the next day, my mom was telling me that Aiden had died the night before. He'd been hit by a drunk driver on his way home from dropping me off.
And even though I had gone home after the funeral, to the apartment that we had shared, I kept hoping and waiting for my friend to come through the door and tell me how he'd just been on the best date of his life.
But it never happened. Months passed, and I moved out of that apartment and started working on my app. And finally, when I was driving my truck home from the store one summer evening, it hit me. It finally hit me. Aiden really wasgone. He hadn't just moved away, like most of our other high school friends. I wouldn't be seeing Aiden at our five-year high school reunion. I wouldn't go to another Dawson family barbecue and have Aiden suddenly show up with his wife and kids.
Aiden would never have those things. He never got the chance. I would get married, and not have Aiden there as my best man. I'd tell my children stories from when I was in high school, and my kids would never actually get to meet the guy with whom I shared all of those memories. Aiden was really gone.
"I still remember the time he plotted to take over the world with all his little nine-year-old friends in the hut out back." Lana's voice cut into my thoughts.
Apparently, sharing memories of Aiden was something his family did every year when they celebrated his birthday. My turn was next, and I needed to think of something. But should I share a memory that was one of my favorites, or one that the family would cherish forever? I went through dozens of experiences we'd had together in my mind. When you're best friends for a decade, you go through a lot of things together. I thought of the time we rigged the kitchen faucet to spray out instead of down on April Fool’s Day. The time we accidentally set the fire alarm off in Chemistry. And the time we dressed up like girls for Halloween, and people had no idea Aiden was really a guy because he hit his growth spurt late in high school. All the campouts. The late nights.
So many good memories, yet still not enough.
And my biggest regret was that our last interaction hadn't been a good one.
Why did a stupid argument have to be the exclamation point at the end of our friendship?
If I’d just waited a little longer to kiss Kate, would my friend still be with us today?
"What about you, Drew? Do you have a memory you'd like to share? I'm sure you have all kinds of good ones we never heard of."
Like how I'm the reason he drove off so angrily that night?
I swallowed, my heart racing. I’d thought I could do this. I thought I could come back to Aiden's home and have dinner with his family.
But it wasn't right.
I shouldn't be the guest of honor on Aiden's birthday.
Aiden should be sitting at his family's table.
Not me.
I cleared my throat and scooted away from the table, feeling a panic attack start to hit.
"If you'll excuse me…" I didn't finish my sentence. Instead, I stood and rushed out the front door.
The January air was crisp when I stepped outside. I gripped the porch railing and leaned over it, urging my pounding heart to return to its normal rate.
What was I doing here?