KATE
One hour.
Just one hour and Drew would be getting engaged.
Even though I knew it wasn't real, I still hated the thought of watching it. Hated the thought that while promoting their fake engagement, he and Gwen might rediscover the small connection they had had on the show. Gwen had been his final pick for a reason. There couldn't benothingbetween them.
Gwen was gorgeous. She had long silky hair, flawless skin, and legs that went on for days. Any guy would be tempted by such a woman.
Drew looked at me with regret in his eyes. Was he sad that he had to go through it, or was he sadder that I had to watch?
"Do you want me to leave?" I asked. We really hadn't gotten the proposal ironed out at all, but I didn't think I'd be much help if we tried any longer either. My heart just wasn't in it, and when my heart wasn't in something, the words didn't flow.
"No. Stay." Drew put a hand on my shoulder—I could feel the heat of it through my clothes. "I'll change in the bathroom then you can help me make sure my tie is on straight. You've always been so good at that."
I nodded and watched him disappear into the bathroom with his suit bag.
What was I doing? Why was I putting myself through this torture? I should have told Alexis I couldn't help this week. Should have faked an illness. Broken a bone. Anything but watch the guy I was in love with propose to someone else.
Drew came out a few minutes later with his suit pants on. He was still working on the last few buttons on his dress shirt.
"Would you mind helping me with my hair? I'm thinking I may need that inspirational Treven hairstyle to pull off my mad acting skills today."
"You don't just want me to do it because the bad-boy look is totally hot on you?"
"Maybe I just want to impress a certain handler of mine. I think she likes my hair better that way." He finished buttoning the rest of his shirt up.
I led the way into the bathroom. As Drew sat in front of the mirror, I worked some wax onto his strands, my fingers carefully reshaping his hair to the way I’d done it before. I kept my focus on the task at hand, but I felt him watching me, making me self-conscious.
When I finished, he inspected his reflection. Our eyes met in the mirror, and our gazes locked for a long moment.
Why had I told him he couldn't kiss me until after this was all over with? What if that had been my only chance to kiss Drew—reallykiss Drew—before he changed his mind?
"It looks good," I finally said.
He nodded, but he was studying my face, as if looking for something I was hiding. "Thank you."
"Do you already have your tie picked out?"
"Yeah. It's the same one I wore before."
Of course. Dumb question.
"I should probably put it on now, huh?"
It was a beautiful silvery-gold tie with dark and light blue stripes. It went perfectly with his tanned skin and blue eyes. I watched as he lay the tie below his collar. Watched his skillful hands work the tie into a full Windsor knot. Studied his fingers as they tweaked the knot just so until it was perfectly even.
Why couldn't I just tell him not to go through with this? Why couldn't I tell him to just pick me now, instead of waiting and making the possibility disappear?
He had slipped from my fingers once before. Was history going to repeat itself?
"How does it look?" Drew turned toward me.
"It's just a little off center," I lied, smoothing over his collar and pulling the tie a fraction of an inch to the right, only to move it right back.
I was going to lose him. I was going to lose my second chance.
"Everything okay?" Drew asked.