Ason
The crack of a ball hitting my baseball bat filled my ears.
The sun was hot and the air was humid as I ran down to first base. My coach was yelling for me to go faster, but I just didn’t have the energy in me to move anymore. Ever since my conversation with Scarlette, I had felt uneasy. There was a strange calmness about her, but a beautiful sadness that I felt like I could relate to. While I had watched her for years, silently observing her movements from afar, I had never seen her really look happy. Sure, at times, she smiled and laughed with her friend, Macy, but other than that, she seemed to want to remain unseen.
To me, it was hard to understand how someone as beautiful as Scarlette could go unnoticed. Nothing about her was plain; from her long, brown locks to her stunning hazel eyes, she was perfection. She didn’t wear her shirts too low or her skirts too short. She didn’t shameless flirt with the Elite or the other jocks and popular kids at school. She came to school, worked hard, and then went home. I always wondered what she did on the weekends. The rest of us at school partied at each other's houses or on someone’s land. Every time I was with a girl, I always wished it was Scarlette.
I had never considered myself a man with a moral compass. What was wrong for most people, wasn’t necessarily viewed the same for me. I grew up in a world where killing was the norm and getting what you wanted came at any price. A girl like Scarlette deserved a guy who knew the difference from right and wrong and would provide for her the right way. She deserved flowers and all that stuff that girls fawned over. That just wasn’t me. And, it wasn’t for lack of seeing those things in my life. My dad constantly worshiped my mother and I knew he loved her and only her, but there was something dark inside of me that kept me from wanting or showing love.
“Ason, pay attention,” I heard coach Butler shout angrily.
The fog in my head began to disappear and I realized I was still standing on first base, and a runner was heading right for me. I had completely zoned out.
I began sprinting to second base, with Tyler, one of my teammates, closely on my heels. Dirt and sand from the infield picked up as I stepped on second base, and then slid into third. As I stood and dusted the dirt off my baseball pants, I sighed as coach jogged toward me. I was about to get an ass chewing.
“What was that, Antoni?” he shouted my way.
I could tell he was holding back the real rage he wanted to unleash on me. No one dared to really go off on me. They knew all too well what would happen if I told my father. Even if I deserved it, people could just disappear if I wanted them to.
“Sorry, I got distracted,” I mumbled.
A few girls who stood in the bleachers waved over as both coach Butler and I looked their way. Coach Butler shook his head, but then his face softened.
“Listen, I get it. You are a good-looking kid and it’s fun to chase the girls. Still, you need to get your head into the game. Those girls will only mess you up. Get what I’m saying, Ason?” he asks, slapping my shoulder.
“Sure,” I grumbled out.
I swiped at a bead of sweat on my forehead and made sure to focus the rest of practice. Coach thought I had been distracted by the girls in the bleachers, but really, the only girl worth gaining my attention wouldn’t be caught dead flirting with me at practice.
After practice, I showered in our locker room and then made my way to the parking lot. Scarlette was walking across the pavement, her head down, as she moved toward an Audi SUV. She was so fucking beautiful that it almost hurt to look at her. I hated the sadness that radiated from her eyes. It made me wonder if anyone ever tried to erase that tragic look from her. Suddenly, Scarlette glanced up. Surely, she felt my stare and as her gaze moved to mine, she tensed and stopped walking.
We stood there, across the parking lot, staring at one another like strangers. Only a few hours earlier, we had been in a heated conversation as I walked out of our tutoring session early. I knew that I had pissed her off and for some strange reason, that had weighed heavily on me. Typically, I didn’t care if I pissed off girls. It was sort of the norm for me, but there was something inside of me that didn’t want to hurt her.
Shaking her head, Scarlette looked away, breaking our contact, and continued walking to her vehicle. Anger floored me and I thought about rushing over to her and asking her why she always looked so lonely, but I thought better of it. Why should I care?
I got to my car, threw my baseball bag into the backseat, and then sped out of the parking lot as my tires squealed and smoked. Racing through the streets of Savannah, I blasted my music as I tried to drown out all thoughts of Scarlette. Only, I wished it were that easy.
My phone ringing over the cars speakers brought me out of my funk.
"Hello," I clipped.
"Hey, I'm finishing up at the gym and was going to head over to watch Micah race," Talon said.
I could hear the sounds of the gym in the background and he sounded out of breath as he spoke. The last thing I wanted to do was to watch Micah tear through the alleys of Savannah in one of his dangerous and illegal races. Why he thought it was fun to drag race for money, was beyond me.
"I'm not sure," I sighed. "I really just want to head home," I told him.
"Why don't you head over here with me?" Talon pushed.
"Ask Gabby. She could use some muscle," I stated through the phone.
I heard Talon chuckle at that. I used to pick on Gabby when we were little because she was always so thin. She had filled out and added curves to her figure as a teenager, but she could benefit from some gym time.
"Nah man, Gabby is shopping or some shit like that," he laughed. "Why are you trying to back out of this?" he asked, obviously frustrated with me.
I knew he was upset that I had been absent lately, but I just needed some alone time to get my thoughts together. Scarlette was really messing with my head.
"I will think about it," I stated, though we both knew that meant that I wasn't going to show up.
My normal activities just didn't feel fun and exciting anymore. And, I wasn't sure if anything ever would again.