His chest rises and falls again as his anger springs to life once again. I can’t imagine how difficult it would be to have such a conflict hanging over your head each and every day. I squeeze is hand and do my best to try and calm him down again.
Sighing, I open my mouth and hope that what comes out, will settle Ason’s soul. “I’m glad that I can help you feel calm. I won’t pretend to understand your life, but I can be here to listen to you when you need to talk.”
Ason stared blankly at me as if I am a puzzle he is trying to figure out. “You know that by being with me, you are putting yourself in danger, right?” he asks, a slight hint of anger in his tone.
I’m not sure what to think of that. I’m not blind or naïve. Everyone in Savannah knows who the Antoni’s are. We know the stories and the business dealings that everyday people know to steer clear from. Still though, none of that scares me away from the feelings I have for Ason. Being here with him, having my heart yearn for him, is so unlike me—but it feels so right.
“Are you telling me that to push me away, or to just remind us both?” I ask.
“As much as I know that I should push you away, I can’t. Having you in my life is the only good thing I have right now. I just worry about you...” his words trail off.
Leaning over, I kiss him hard. Putting all of my feelings for him into the moment. At first, Ason is startled, but as he starts fisting my hair, he deepens the kiss. We are nothing more than hands and moans as we can’t stop this road we are journeying down. His hand slips down to my waist and as I push harder against him, he moves me so that I am now straddling his lap. I can feel him growing hard beneath me and that sparks something wild inside of me that I have never felt before. I start grinding on him and when he moans, that gives me more motivation and courage to let out the freaky side of me that I have apparently been hiding. My core clenches and tingles as I dry hump him. His finger slips into my pants and an electric current flows through me. Anxious energy fills me as I silently beg for him to move his finger further down. When his finger begins rubbing my clit, I let my head fall back as our kiss breaks. His lips quickly move to my neck and down to my breasts as one finger slips inside of me. I can’t help my own moan as I allow him to finger me while kissing all over my body. As my body begins to reach my climax, Ason can feel it, too, and he begins pumping his fingers deeper and harder inside of me until I reach the wave of ecstasy I have been waiting for. Now, it’s my turn to make him come. Unzipping his pants, I take his full length and begin sucking him into my mouth. It doesn’t take long before he is calling out my name and I am swallowing every ounce of his come.
I fall back against his steering wheel and it’s only then that I realize we just had another intimate moment in a car, in a public parking lot. Realization strikes me like a lightning bolt and I scramble to get off of his lap.
“What’s wrong?” Ason asks, as he adjusts himself.
“We just...what if someone saw...” I ramble on, my cheeks burning with fire at the embarrassment boiling to the surface.
A chuckle rumbles from his chest and Ason pulls me back toward him. “The windows are tinted and there isn’t anyone else out here,” he says, pointing to the car windows.
He’s right; the windows are dark and we seem to be isolated in the parking lot. Still, I can’t believe I lost all control like that. I’ve never been that girl, but hot damn, if it didn’t feel amazing. Ason says that when he’s with me, I make him feel better. But when I’m with Ason, I feel like I can finally be the me that has been hiding beneath layers of sadness.
“I’ve never done something like that before,” I say, nervous of my admission.
“Good. You will only do that with me?” he says, cocking his head to the side.
All I can do is shake my head, yes.
“I love that,” he growls out.
“What?” I ask, thinking I heard him wrong.
“I love that no other guy has touched you. That no one else has tasted you. I’m your first and last,” he says.
With Ason, everything he says is a command. Not a question. But a demand. Why do I feel myself smiling at the thought of this? Why does knowing that Ason wants me make me so giddy inside?
I love this new side of me and I fear that I may be falling in love with Ason, too.