Annie
I kneel in front of the toilet, waiting to vomit, but nothing comes up. Leaning my back against the wall, I glance up at the small window above me. It’s light outside, morning. And suddenly I’m doubting my ability to see this through.
A knock on the door makes me jump.
‘Annie, are you okay? You’ve been in there for ages.’
No. No, I’m definitely not okay. I’m sad and scared and barely holding it together.
Standing, I take a few deep breaths and open the door. ‘Morning.’
She takes in my clammy face. ‘Are you sick?’
I shake my head and step past her. ‘Just a bit tired.’
She follows me to my room. ‘Maybe you should call in sick.’
‘Because I’m tired?’ I force a smile. ‘All good. No need to worry.’ I pull some clean clothes from the drawer and head to the bathroom for a shower.
When I enter the kitchen twenty minutes later, I feel Mum watching me, smell her fear. It’s almost like she knows.
‘I’ll see you later,’ I say—like I always do.
‘No breakfast?’
I’d only throw it up. ‘I’m running late.’ I back up and grab a banana from the fruit bowl to appease her. ‘I’ll eat this on the way.’
Her eyes follow me all the way to the door. ‘Have a good day.’
Maggie’s out back when I arrive at work, talking to herself while she sorts old stock.
‘Morning,’ I call to her.
She peers around a pile of shoeboxes. ‘Morning, love.’ Then, registering my expression, she asks, ‘You all right?’
I shake my head, close to tears before I’ve even started speaking.
‘Oooh, sweetheart.’ She navigates the mess and makes her way over to me, taking my hand. ‘What’s the matter?’
There’s no point beating around the bush. ‘I’m so sorry to do this to you, but I’m leaving town—today.’
Her eyes widen as she processes this sudden announcement, but she keeps hold of my hand. ‘For how long?’
‘I don’t know.’
Maggie lets out an emotional breath. ‘Are you leaving town or leaving that church of yours?’
I scrape my teeth over my lip. ‘Both.’
She nods slowly, eyes sympathetic.
‘I’m really sorry I didn’t tell you sooner. I’ve known I was leaving for a few days but couldn’t risk certain people finding out. I know we’re a few weeks from Christmas, your busiest time—’
‘Don’t you worry about that. I’ve managed things solo before. I can do it again.’ She rubs the back of my hand. ‘This has been brewing for some time, hasn’t it?’
Years.
I nod.