‘You mean after the movie?’
‘After our perfect day in the city. What happens when we’re back in this town living our normal lives?’
Suddenly we’re here, in that place we didn’t want to be, and I’m gutted. ‘What are you doing?’
‘I’m asking you a question.’
I nod slowly, taking a small step back from him. ‘Well, I don’t know what you want me to say, because I don’t have any answers.’
His bottom lip disappears between his teeth, and he looks up at the overcast sky. ‘And when will you have answers?’
‘I don’t know. I just walked out of an exam, and you’re hitting me with this. I don’t have the headspace for this conversation.’ Because I’m a coward.
He continues chewing that lip of his. ‘Your mum’s not an idiot.’
‘I know that.’
‘Then how long do you think until she figures out that her only daughter still in the organisation is being fingerfucked by the guy across the creek while she’s at work?’
I flinch. I flinch so hard the action feels like a convulsion. Hunter’s sworn in front of me plenty of times, but this phrase from his mouth is too much. It makes me feel dirtier than anything we’ve ever done.
I stand there waiting for him to realise what he just said, to realise he’s overstepped. I’m waiting for the remorse to show on his face or an apology of some kind, but it doesn’t come. Instead, he’s standing there waiting for me to respond.
‘I can’t believe you just said that to me.’ I’m upset at his choice of words, but I’m more upset that we’ve reached our expiration date so soon.
He stares at me. ‘What do you want, Wilson?’
What I want is to go back in time, for this conversation to never have happened. ‘I have to go.’ I start backing away. ‘I have my second exam tomorrow.’
He pinches the bridge of his nose. ‘You don’t have five minutes to finish the conversation?’
‘No. No, I don’t.’ I turn and walk away. His boots crunch on the stones behind me.
‘This isn’t just you ticking shit off your rebellious acts list anymore,’ he says.
I keep walking. ‘I know that.’
‘And I just told you I don’t want to sneak around.’
I throw my hands up. ‘So don’t.’
He catches my wrist, spinning me to face him. ‘Stop. Running.’
‘Why? Do you have some more vulgarities you want to throw at me before I leave?’
He searches my eyes, his grip on me loosening. ‘You want me to be the one who ends it, don’t you? That way all your fears will be justified. Is that it?’
I shake my head, even though everything he’s saying is true.
‘Then you can go running back to the safety and comfort of your cult.’ He releases my arm. ‘If I don’t end it, if it turns out I’m not so bad, that makes things tricky for you, doesn’t it?’
My eyes begin to burn. ‘Did you just say cult?’
‘Yes, cult. Any organisation that isolates its members from the real world looks suspiciously like a cult from where I’m standing.’
I lean in. ‘It protects its members.’
He laughs in my face. ‘From what? Real life?’