When the final amen is uttered, the children burst from their seats and go in search of their friends. I pick up my bag and say to Mum, ‘Do you mind if we go? I’ve got to finish my final assessment piece for 2D this afternoon.’
She gives a reluctant nod. ‘I’m still not sure why you chose that subject. Seems like a waste.’
‘It’s all a waste, Mum. Every subject is a waste if I do nothing with the knowledge.’ The words come out snarkier than I intend. I hook my handbag on my shoulder. My pounding head isn’t helping my mood. ‘Sorry.’
Sister Jane appears at the end of the row of chairs. ‘Not joining us for field service this afternoon?’
The self-control required on my part to not groan aloud is enormous.
‘Annie has some things to finish for school,’ Mum says.
Sister Jane smiles. ‘Well, at least you came for your spiritual food first.’ She’s not one to pass judgement. ‘More fruit cake for the rest of us.’
I really need to get out of here.
Unfortunately, our exit coincides with the four-wheel drive pulling up to collect Sister Maria. She’s ushered past us and loaded into the car after another demonic attack during the Watchtower study. Her tired eyes meet mine briefly as she passes, then again when she’s laid carefully in the boot of the car by two ministerial servants. She looks so defeated.
‘Poor love,’ Mum says as the car pulls away. ‘It’s not only at the meetings, you know. They attack at home in front of her daughter. Can you imagine how scary that must be for her?’
We’re almost to the car now. I check over my shoulder before saying, ‘What if it’s not demons?’
Mum gives me a confused look.
‘People have seizures for all kinds of reasons. I assume she’s been to see a doctor.’
‘The elders know what they’re doing.’ Mum stops walking and turns to me. ‘Sister Maria used to visit mediums prior to finding Jehovah. When the seizures began, the elders went through all her belongings and found tarot cards. That’s an invitation for trouble if I’ve ever heard one. The cards were burned, but Satan doesn’t give up easily.’
She resumes walking, and I follow her to the car.
When we arrive home, I tell Mum I’m going for a ride.
‘I thought you needed to finish your piece.’
‘I do, but Charlie needs some exercise.’
She drops her handbag onto the bench and looks out the kitchen windows to where the horse is visible through the trees. ‘It’s probably time he was sold.’
She’s been saying this for years, but she never goes through with it. That gelding is all we have left of Bridget.
Mum turns back to the bench. ‘I’ll make you a sandwich while you change.’
The pain’s still there, always present despite her efforts to hide it. Acknowledging it would be her undoing. Uttering the words ‘I miss her’ might finish us both.
I put on riding pants and a flannelette shirt and snatch the sandwich from the plate on my way out. ‘Thanks.’ I haven’t eaten since the night before, and my appetite has returned in full force.
Banjo leaps up from his bed when I step outside, and we walk between the weeping willows towards a waiting Charlie. I sometimes wonder if he’s still waiting for Bridget to return, expecting her to appear through the trees with a lead in hand and a giant smile.
‘Only me,’ I say as I halter him.
I lead him over to the tiny shed, the one Bridget used to jokingly refer to as the tack room, and saddle him. As I finish, I hear a motorbike across the creek. I lead Charlie to the top of the slope and spot Hunter.
He stops the bike when he sees me, so I walk Charlie down the slope towards the water. Hunter kills the motor, climbs off, and heads to the edge of the creek. He’s wearing black tracksuit pants with worn knees and a blue hoodie that he fills out perfectly.
We’re standing on opposite sides of the creek looking at each other, and I don’t think either of us knows why.
‘Can I ask you something?’ I say.
He nods. ‘As long as it’s not “Would you like a free Bible study?”’