I can’t remember ever seeing him happy with Mum. ‘What’s her name?’
‘Carol.’
‘Does Carol have children?’
‘Two. Thirteen and fifteen.’
I sit with that information for a moment. ‘So she’s younger than you?’
‘Only by three years.’ He smiles. ‘Don’t worry. This isn’t some midlife crisis.’
The corners of my mouth lift. ‘That’s reassuring.’
He’s quiet a moment. ‘She’s great company, and we have an enormous amount of trust and respect for each other.’
I turn my glass in my hand. ‘What about love?’
‘Love looks a little different when you get to my age.’ He studies me a moment. ‘Do you love Hunter?’
‘You must remember what it’s like at our age. You love first, then figure out the rest later.’
He smiles down at the table. ‘Or you don’t.’
I laugh quietly. ‘Or you don’t.’
‘I remember him as a hot-headed kid. Hope he’s grown out of that.’
I crinkle my nose. ‘I’d describe him more as growing out of that.’
‘Ah. A work in progress. So long as he keeps his temper in check around you, then I’ll stay out of your business.’
It’s the perfect fatherly response.
I finish my beer and set the empty glass down on the table. ‘Don’t suppose you can give me a lift?’
He nods and slips from the booth. ‘Of course.’
We walk to his car in silence, and when I climb in, it smells different to what I remember. It smells like another family.
I look out the window.
‘I’m going to tell you something,’ he says to me. ‘But what I’m about to tell you must stay between us. I need your word on that.’
I’m immediately nervous. ‘Okay.’
‘Bridget was adamant that she didn’t want you to know.’
My heart beats a little harder in my chest. ‘Didn’t want me to know what?’
He takes his time, carefully selecting his words. ‘Do you remember Derek Harding?’
My mind reaches for details. ‘As in Brother Derek?’
‘Yeah. You would’ve been eleven or so when he was disfellowshipped.’
I struggle to remember the people who didn’t come back. Kids tend to remember the ones who do. The people at the back of the Kingdom Hall we’re told not to talk to. I still remember the shame-filled faces of those shunned.
Derek never returned. By memory, there was an announcement one evening before the song, and then I never saw him again. My adolescent brain would’ve assumed he’d gone off into the world to live an empty, miserable life, a life without purpose and protection—because that’s what we were told.