Annie
It takes me three days to work up the courage to go see my mum. Three days of wondering what to say, of preparing myself for a reaction I can’t predict. Tears? Door slammed in my face? Pleading me to return to Jehovah and beg for his forgiveness? I can’t stay across the creek from her, potentially for weeks on end, and not tell her. So the day after Maggie’s funeral, I go to the house.
‘You sure you don’t want me to come with you?’ Hunter asks when he pulls the ute over at the top of the driveway.
He’d never admit it, but I think he’s afraid I won’t come back. And I don’t blame him. Two months ago, I got baptised. Two months ago, I was all-in with the organisation—except I wasn’t. That’s what he needs to understand. The temptation to return will always be there, but my desire to live life on my own terms wins every time.
‘I’ll be fine,’ I tell him. ‘I’ll meet you at the hospital.’
His dad has been transferred back to Chirnside, making visitation easier. On Thursday he’ll be released, remanded, plead guilty, and a court date will be set. And then we don’t know.
We look at each other for a long moment, acknowledging the sinking ship we find ourselves on. At least we have each other—for now.
I watch Hunter in the side-view mirror as he pulls away, then head for the house.
Banjo jumps off his bed the second he sees me. He doesn’t recognise me, so he trots around in circles barking at me. But then I whistle. I whistle his whistle, and straight away his ears go back and his entire rear end starts to wag. He runs over, and I crouch down, attempting to cuddle him while he cries and headbutts me repeatedly in the face.
‘I’ve missed you too.’
I look around and see Mum’s car isn’t here. She’s likely still at work. I feel like an intruder, but that doesn’t stop me from heading out back to see Charlie. His rug hangs over the fence, and he’s standing in the shade. Even though I’m sure Mum has complained every day about having to care for him, she’s doing a great job.
Half an hour later, Mum pulls into the driveway. I’m seated on Banjo’s bed, the dog on top of me. She watches me through the window for a moment, unsmiling, before climbing out of the car.
‘I’d heard rumours you were in town,’ she says, walking over.
Banjo runs to greet her, so I take the opportunity to stand up. ‘I wanted to go to Maggie’s funeral.’
She sighs. ‘So very sad. I prayed for her when I heard.’ There’s a pause. ‘Where are you staying?’
‘With Hunter.’
Her nostrils flare slightly, and she slowly shakes her head. ‘His father is the reason Maggie’s dead, you know.’
‘And Kevin’s living the consequences. Hunter’s here trying to clean up the mess he’s left and keep a hold of the farm.’
She regards me a moment. ‘I really hope that boy’s not the reason you threw away your chance at everlasting life.’
I’m tired of this conversation already and it’s only just begun. ‘I wanted to say hello and see how you’re doing. I hope that’s okay.’
She looks me over again. ‘You’re tanned.’
‘Yeah.’
‘Did you find her?’
Not Bridget, ‘her’. The fact that she still can’t say her name aloud speaks volumes. I nod, unsure if she wants details. By the look on her face, I think it might be too painful for her.
‘She’s well’ is all I say. It’s up to her now if she wants any more information than that.
She glances over her shoulder. ‘Sister Jane’s popping over shortly. Dropping off that bundt tin she borrowed back in June.’
It seems I’m not receiving an invitation inside today. ‘Great. You can make your famous upside-down pineapple cake.’
She nods. ‘I suppose I can freeze it in portions.’
That hits me in the heart. Cake for one. I know she’d give anything to feed her daughters cake again. Anything except her beliefs. ‘Well, I’ll let you go get changed.’
I’m waiting for her to insist I come in, ask questions and hear all my news. Instead, I’m met with silence.