Of course, he’d figured it out. Hayes knew me too well and was too smart to be fooled by my misdirection. I nodded. “I'm sorry. I thought maybe I could make you hate me to keep you away. I wanted to protect you. But I hated myself for doing it, and as soon as I drove away, I knew I'd ruined the only good thing in my life. You're the best thing that's ever happened to me, and I tried to destroy it. I… I chose a father who doesn’t give a shit about me instead of you, who actually wants me.” A tear leaked from the corner of my eye and spilled over Hayes's thumb where he cradled my face.
“It's okay, baby doll,” he said softly. “I'm here. You'll have to do worse than that to make me bail.”
“Raf.” I threw myself at him, straddling his waist, my arms wrapped around his neck like he was a buoy, and I was drowning in deep waves.
“I got you.” His strong arms banded around my back, and he walked me toward the bed. He tried to lower me to it, but I wouldn’t let go, pulling him down on top of me. He settled over me, his hips resting between my parted legs. I felt him, hard and thick, through his clothes and my panties and t-shirt.
“Do you think so poorly of my skills?” he asked.
I frowned up at him. The room was so dark I barely caught the gleam in his eye from the sliver of streetlight that came in through the part in the curtains.
“What?”
“I’m a trained Navy SEAL with a merc team behind me. You think I couldn’t get myself out of anything Burns and your dad threw at me? At us?” He stroked my hair back from my face.
“That was before–”
“Before you found out your father wasn’t really in any danger and used you to steal a five-million-dollar knife?”
Tears spilled out of the corners of my eyes, but with him pinning me down, I couldn’t wipe them away.
“Before Burns framed you into working for them? Before you stood outside and lied your ass off on a fake phone call, so I could think you were the bad guy?”
“Before I fully believed there was an us,” I replied. “Before I admitted to myself that I’m in love with you, and I have been from the start.”
There. I said it.
Stripped bare.
Finally.
Those were the words that told him everything. That I’d been willing to do anything because of how I felt for him.
Hayes groaned as if something was ripped open inside of him. As if he was wounded without any cuts.
His mouth settled on mine. Hard. Anguish and relief filled. I opened for him instantly and his tongue found mine. We were lost, wild in just a kiss. I didn’t know how long it went on for, but he finally lifted his head.
“You’re getting punished for what you did.” His voice sounded ragged.
I arched against him, rubbing over the bulge in his pants, loving the rough dominance he always brought to our lovemaking. Yes, I was finally calling it lovemaking and not sex. What we had was so far beyond sex.
“You liked your spanking too much last night for it to be effective. Maybe an ass fucking would get the point across.”
“You want to fuck my ass to tell me you love me?” I asked, laughter bouncing in my chest, opening up all the spaces that had caved in over the past twelve hours.
A slow grin spread across his face. “I’ve been showing it every fucking day since I met you, baby doll. I can tell that you like the idea.”
“That you love me?”
“That, too. I meant me getting inside of that tight ass of yours. Sinking deep and giving both of us what we need.”
I squirmed beneath him because I really liked the idea.
“Yeah, I can see that’s not going to be a punishment either.”
I worked the buckle on his belt, pulling it open and off. “Let’s find out.”
His chuckle was dark. “You are all in, aren’t you?” He lowered his head and sank his teeth into the side of my breast through my t-shirt.
I moaned at the mingle of pain and pleasure.
“But then, you always have been with sex, haven’t you, baby doll?”
“I’m all in with you, Raf.” My hands were frantic to get the button open on his jeans. “And I’m pretty desperate to get you all in me.”
“Oh, you’re going to take me, baby doll. You’re going to take me deep and hard, right in that tight little ass of yours.” He turned me over and yanked down my panties, laying a flurry of spanks on my butt.
I welcomed the sting. I would welcome anything Hayes gave to me right now, my relief at fixing what I’d broken between us so complete.