He couldn’t help but grin. “Anytime, baby doll. You can have it or any part of me.”
I loved that he was so open, so generous. Yes, sexually, but he seemed to be enmeshed in the group that made up Alpha Mountain Security. He wasn’t a loner like me. Which made me think of my dad and his little visit and fortified my walls against letting him in.
“My nana told me I’m very generous.”
“I’m pretty sure your grandmother wasn’t talking about the number of orgasms you give a woman.”
He shrugged, unashamed.
“She had eight children,” he commented, scratching his jaw with a finger that had been inside me. “I’m sure my abuelo took good care of her.”
I widened my eyes at the fact that he was talking about his grandparents’ sex life. Then laughed.
“What? I have a very close family.”
“And big, if she had eight kids.”
He nodded. “I have twenty-two first cousins. Sunday dinner can get pretty crazy.”
“I assume they’re not here in Sparks.”
He shook his head. “Albuquerque.”
“Then why aren’t you there? I mean, you left the Navy, so why not go home to be with your well-sexed nana?”
He hesitated, and I sensed a story.
I set my weapon down and turned to fully face him.
“My cousins are entrepreneurial… and their business ventures aren’t exactly legit, if you catch my drift.”
My lips parted in surprise at this reveal. Hayes had criminals in his family, too. But he wasn’t one himself.
“My parents were afraid I’d get pulled into it, so they convinced me to join the Navy straight out of high school.”
“Wow. Unexpected.” Who knew Hayes and I had this in common?
He shrugged. “It was a fork in the road moment, you know? I rebelled against the future they were offering me.”
“So, you are a rebel,” I teased. “Rebel with a cause.”
His lips twisted in a grin. “I guess. My whole life could’ve gone one way, toward a life in the production and sales of narcotics, but because I walked away from family, it went in a completely different direction. That decision salvaged my soul. I still have honor. I can walk into a church or a school and hold my head up high. I can fuck a sheriff’s deputy.” He winked, and I rolled my eyes.
For one moment there, I’d considered telling him I understood. That I had unpleasant characters in my family line as well. But my honor hadn’t been salvaged. I didn’t take the right fork in the road. Sure, I had after juvie, but the stain was still there on my soul. The possibility of getting sucked back in or having everyone find out always loomed as a potential disaster.
“So, were they mad? Your cousins?” I asked.
“Yeah. They still want me involved–even more now with the skills I have. That’s why I can’t really go back. I love my family, and I miss the hell out of them, but I didn’t even tell them I was out of the service. Only my parents and grandmother know.”
“I’m sorry.”
He shrugged. “It’s fine. The team’s my family now. Do you remember Buck? Indi’s brother.”
“Of course. He worked at his parents’ hardware store. I used to go in and get popcorn, and he’d be there, sorting nails and bolts. Looking back, he’d probably been in trouble, and they gave him ridiculous busy work as punishment.”
The smile he gave me was slow and sad, and I knew he was thinking of his friend who’d been killed in Afghanistan.
“That sounds like him. Unlike Ford, Buck was the easygoing one. A team is tight. Closer than a family in ways because we trust each other with our lives.”
He picked up a bullet and fiddled with it as he continued.
“When Buck died and then Ford got kicked out, it was tough. I was the first one Ford called when he started his business. I didn’t re-up because I wanted to stay with my men.”
Wow. He was so flipping honorable and supportive. Then I processed that Ford had been kicked out. I hadn’t heard that before, which meant even Mrs. L wanted it to remain a secret.
I wasn’t the only one with skeletons in my closet.
“You have two families. You’re doubly lucky,” I replied.
Yeah, it stung. I saw the way Indi was with her parents. How Ford was with Mrs. L. Dan and his wife with their kids. Families who were there for each other and not to help with grand theft.
“You said your mom left,” he commented.
I didn’t usually answer questions about my mom, but for some reason, it felt natural with Hayes. I’d been pushing him away, but he was actually very easy to talk to.
I nodded. “When I was eight. She just up and left. My dad said she always had men courting her. Even as a married woman. He figured she used her best qualities to generate a more tempting offer than small-town Montana living.”