I fell asleep with my face mashed into her pillow, inhaling her scent, telling myself I’d wash this bedding tomorrow.
Deep down, I knew I was lying to myself.
* * *
By Sunday morning,the alcohol wasn’t numbing things anymore, and my knuckles started to crack open and bleed. Yet here I was, back in the corner of my garage, taking my resentment out on the heavy bag again. Despite the hangover, I still had enough sense to use wraps and gloves this go-round.
Sweat dripped down my face and soaked my shirt. I threw all my weight behind every punch, trying to exorcise my emotions through my fists, but it wasn’t working.
The air in the garage was stale and oppressive. All the weight of the last five years stacked on top of my chest, keeping my lungs from fully inflating.
Ripping off one of the gloves, I walked over and hit the switch on the wall for the door opener. The cool morning air breezed in, and I waited a minute for my breathing to even out. The memory of when Sadie had interrupted my workout—and I acted like a dickhead because I thought she was gawking at my leg—came rushing back to me.
How was that only a few weeks ago?
It felt like a lifetime.
Even Friday night at the festival felt like it was years ago.
Before this week, the thought of being on stage in front of everyone would have paralyzed me with anxiety. And it did suck, no doubt about that. But never once during the whole thing was I worried about what people were thinking or saying about my leg or the accident.
I was too angry and bitter to feel self-conscious.
And everyone else in town was too focused on the whole Axel Everett situation.
In a twisted way, those articles were a strange gift. They took the focus off me—except as an unwitting accessory to Kelly Bay’s biggest gossip dustup this century. I no longer felt like an outsider being examined. I was part of the club again, even if I didn’t want to be.
She duped me too, guys.
I walked back over to the heavy bag. The boxes of my mom’s clothes caught my eye. I hated to admit it, but emptying that closet had given me a sliver of relief. Even if it had been done in a blind rage.
I’d been telling myself for years that my life was exactly as it should be, but deep down I wanted to claw my way out from under all the guilt and shame that buried me. Then Sadie had stepped in and shone a bright light into my little cave of insecurities. She pushed me when everyone else gave me a wide berth. She refused to see me as the jaded persona I presented to the outside world. She dug in and unearthed what was beneath the surface.
Problem was, I couldn’t reconcile her actions with those articles. Even if it had all been a ploy on her part to generate content for her articles, it’d fucking worked. She’d managed to change me at a fundamental level. Like she’d rewritten my genetic code. I couldn’t go back to the way things were before she charged into my life. It was impossible.
I had my keys in my hand and was on my way to the hardware store before the revelation even settled in my brain.
A few minutes later, I pushed through the glass door. Richard, the owner, greeted me with a surprised look on his face. “Hey, Drew. Great job Friday night.”
I stopped in my tracks.
“Everyone was real impressed with how well you held it together for the opening ceremony…all things considered.”
“Right.” I blew out a breath, not sure how to accept the weird bit of praise.
“I mean, anyone who looks at your face in the pictures is going to wonder if this was the year the Valor King started ordering beheadings, but all in all, you didn’t do half bad.”
I barked out a surprised laugh. “Thanks.”
“What can I do you for? I don’t remember seeing an online order ready for you to pick up today.”
“I need as many empty boxes as you’ve got.”