I twirl my fingers in my lap, glancing at them briefly. “Sometimes… you can lurk in the dark for so long, it’s hard to leave the security it becomes.”
“See… that’s just it.” His voice is laced with frustration. “I don’t understand how he can want to stay in that place. Why doesn’t he want out of it, especially when he’s offered help?”
“Because when it’s dark, you can’t see anything else.”
“So it’s hopeless to try?” he asks, and my heart melts over the fact he’s anguished for one of his friends.
“It’s never hopeless to try. You should always try. Because the hope is that you break through.”
Gage nods again, as if he hadn’t considered that but sees the point. “I called Callum. He’s going to figure out some type of intervention.”
I smile with encouragement. “Then I say you had a productive night, on and off the ice.”
Gage smiles back, brighter than my own. “And just like that, you helped fill my bucket.”
Tipping my head, I ask, “What does that mean?”
“It’s a children’s book that I bought for one of my nieces, and we read it together all the time—via FaceTime, of course. But it says everyone has a bucket, and we fill it with kindnesses to and from one another. I wave at you with a smile as we pass by, and that fills up your bucket. You’re surprised I noticed, took the time, and you smile and wave back. It fills up my bucket.”
“I love that,” I say on a swoony sigh. “And I guess the opposite… people can do things to drain our bucket, or we can do things that drain others’?”
Gage grins and points a finger. “Simple concept, and a great way for kids to understand the importance of how our everyday actions and words affect people. But I’ve always felt adults need that lesson too. Being aware.”
It’s now that I understand Gage isn’t just a nice guy but a good man. So self-aware and aware of others at the same time. Just like the day we met… he was aware in an instant that he’d done something to take from my bucket. Rather than leave me that way, he made efforts to fill it back up.
And he came to my house tonight knowing I’d refill his bucket. It’s a thought that scares and humbles me, for I haven’t felt like I’ve had a lot to offer people in a very long time.
“There was another reason I wanted to come by tonight,” he says casually, and my breath freezes in my lungs. “I wanted to let you know I canceled that double date Nolan wanted me to go on. It was supposed to be tomorrow night, but I texted a bit ago and called it off.”
“Oh,” I murmur, my head spinning with why he would do that and why he would bother making a trip over here to tell me.
“I’m not one to beat around the bush, and while I try to read the room to make sure I know what I’m dealing with, I have to admit I’m a little confused where you’re concerned.”
I frown at him. “I think I’m confused too.”
“Well,” he drawls, giving me a sheepish smile, “I want to ask you out. I wanted to the other night before Nolan interrupted us. And then… you pushed me to go out with a stranger, and you left very quickly, and then that made me unsure of what you might be receptive to.”
“You wanted to ask me out?” I murmur, hands falling to my lap again. A little dizziness hits me because I’ve been admittedly crushing on Gage—I mean, I stalked him online because he showed me kindness—but I never in a million years thought he would have any interest in me other than friendship. It’s why I pushed him to go on that date because it kept me in a safe bubble, shielded from potential rejection.
“Yeah, I wanted to ask you out,” he says, amused that I’m surprised.
My frown deepens. “But… why?”
“Why not?” he throws back.
“Because I googled you.”
“That doesn’t make any sense,” he drawls. “Gonna have to explain it.”
I sigh with a slight eye roll. “You commented the other night had I googled you, I would’ve known you retired in Seattle. So… I googled you.”
Gage slaps a hand over his eyes dramatically and groans. “I swear… that video of when I was twenty-two and streaking across a parking lot was supposed to be destroyed.”
My mouth drops open. I haven’t seen that video, but I’ll be googling him again as soon as he leaves. Except he adds, “Just kidding. No naked videos of me.”
Darn.
“I still need you to explain the point,” he prods.
I take in a breath, let it out, and stare at him unflinchingly. “I googled you, and you had beautiful women on your arm at many events. You’re the type whose supermodel girlfriend invents a cure for diabetes and in her spare time rescues stray animals.”