"I feel like that too," Faith says softly. "I mean, maybe it's because you were supposed to find me. Maybe..."
"You believe in all that?" I ask her. "In fate and destiny? Because I have a hard time swallowing that kind of idea. After Iraq, I feel like it's hard to believe in much anymore."
"Yet here we are," Faiths says. Her eyes are locked with mine, and there's a charge between us so electric, so powerful, I fucking drop the spatula.
"Damn it," I say, breaking eye contact and trying to get a hold of myself. This woman's caught me up in her spell something fierce. Crazy thing is, I don't want to be set free.
She stands and picks up the spatula. "I'm going to go rinse this off in the kitchen sink," she says. She walks away and I stand there at the side of the house, trying to catch my breath, collect my thoughts, wondering what the fuck I'm doing, wondering who the hell I am. This girl, she's just been through hell and I'm falling for her? I don't think she's in a place for a man, and I'm not so sure I'm in a place for a girl like her.
"Jake," she says, coming back outside and pointing to the smoking grill, "I think the burgers are done."
I let out a groan. "Fuck, you're right. Sorry. I think they're going to be more well-done than not." She hands me the spatula, now clean, holding out a plate for me to set the patties on. She rests a hand on my back, her presence like a promise. I may not know if I'm the man for her. I may not know how to be the man she needs, but I know that right now in this moment she is all I want.
8
FAITH
I've had hundreds of hamburgers in my life, but I've never had a meal like this. Here I am, sitting out on the back porch of a beautiful home, staring at a gorgeous guy eating hamburgers and potato salad. Snacking on a bag of chips that are open on the table between us. And I realize that Jake is special, not because he's my knight in shining armor, the guardian angel who saved me. He's special because of that, but he's also special because he makes me feel so damn comfortable, relaxed in a way I never have been before.
He smiles wide and big. And when we talk about the shows we like and the movies we hate, about the memes that make us crack up and the songs we always put on repeat, we realize we have a lot in common. I may not have been living across the world, fighting a war, but I had my own battles here at home. I feel like Jake appreciates that, at least sees that. And when there's a pause in the conversation, he tells me as much. "I have never met a woman like you," he says. "You've been through hell, but somehow you are still sitting here smiling, laughing."
"I could say the same about you, Jake." I swallow. "Are you always so smooth with the ladies?" I can't help but ask.
"Smooth?" he asks, rolling his eyes, taking another handful of potato chips. "I'm not smooth, and there's not a lot of ladies. My mom, she's been my number one. Not to give you the wrong idea. I'm not some momma's boy."
"Okay. Sure," I say, laughing. "I don't think it's a bad thing that you look after your mom."
"I've not been able to for a long time," he tells me. "Being overseas has been hard because she's here alone."
"It sounds like she has a lot of friends," I say. "That's got to be great. Put your mind at ease a little bit."
“Was it always just you and your dad?" he asks me.
I shake my head. "No, my grandma, Lorraine, she was the reason I stayed around my dad for so long. She died three months ago."
"Fuck. Faith, I'm sorry."
"She'd been sick for a long time. That's why I was there, taking care of her. I never felt trapped in all those years because I knew my duty, my desire was to make sure grandma was all right. But after she passed," I pause, choosing my words carefully. “Suddenly I realized that unless I figured something out fast, I was never going to leave. Before I could do that, well, Jesse showed up.”
There's a dark look in Jake's eyes when I say his name. "I want to kill that guy," he tells me. "I know it's wrong to think that way, but I do. The fact he laid his hands on you, asked you to do things, it's not right. Faith, you deserve more than that, so much more. And I hope the police find him, catch him, and lock him up for good.”