“And that doesn’t bother you?”
“No.” Reginald took a deep breath and his shoulders bounced. “Hindsight can only tell me that absolute trust and loyalty weren’t the correct choices. That’s all that’s ever guided me when it comes to Lavender and our family and if that ends up being wrong, so be it. I don’t care what’s on the other side.”
“That’s…!” Paul huffed breathlessly and shook his head. “Before we found that girl, you were the one everyone was whispering about. They said that you’d do anything to be prime minister and that you mysteriously woke up this morning and decided to set it all on fire.”
“I woke up and immediately broke out of prison is what I did,” Reginald said with a sneer. That made Paul chuckle and he shook his head again, still in disbelief.
“It pains me to admit it, but Lavender was right. I know that what you say cannot be true but everything within me wants to believe you. My heart behaves as if it were, which makes this all the more confounding,” he added with a grimace. Reginald shut his eyes as they puddled with tears. He rested his head against the wall and went back to his last lucid moment in Paul’s arms.
“I just wanted to shut it all down so I could get a little rest but I overdid it. I think you and my brain are punishing me. You’ve put me in timeout.”
“Is that what you deserve?” Paul asked.
“Without a doubt. I always push too far. And I don’t blame you—either of you—for being frustrated with me. You’ve been exceptionally graceful and patient. My other Paul had years to get accustomed to my bullshit but you’ve coped masterfully this evening.”
Paul hummed drowsily. “Thank you. It’s been anything but boring, my lord.”
Reginald laughed softly despite a stab of pain. He resented himself bitterly as he recalled how good and safe it felt falling asleep in Paul’s arms. He’d sacrificed that when he ate the gummy and it was the one thing Reginald was desperate to reclaim. He remembered the soothing scrape of Paul’s fingertips on his scalp as they sifted through his hair and Reginald ached to hear Paul’s heartbeat as he faded into unconsciousness. “You said I was your lord and that you’d wait right here until I returned.”
“I’m still here and I’ll be here when you wake up in the morning.”
“I know,” Reginald mumbled, torn as to which Paul he hoped to see when he opened his eyes. He didn’t want the dream to end before he’d found the answer, but Reginald desperately wanted out and he needed his Paul back.