There was one hell of a big bang between Jaxson and me that’s for sure.
“When you slept with him, you let him in. Not just literally. You connect with the person on a deeper level. Again, not just literally.” She smiles teasingly. “I just had to say
that.”
We laugh, and it eases some of the tension.
“I don’t need to explain it to you, Leigh. You just have to admit to yourself that you like him. I think the problem is because you fell in love with him when you lost your mom, you’re scared you’ll lose him as well. You don’t want to take the risk of letting him in because you’re scared of what may happen. You don’t know if things will work out, or if they will. You don’t know if you’ll have one year with him or fifty. It’s normal to feel that way.”
She looks at me pleadingly. “I can tell you one thing, though. You’ll regret it if you let him go. One year with him might be better than nothing at all. That’s why I’m with Marcus. I’d rather have these last few days with him and know I was loved, than walk away and wonder what it could’ve been like.”
She’s right. I’ve been lying to myself. I’ve tried so hard to convince myself that I hate him because I’m scared of how I feel when I’m around him.
“Why is it so scary to love someone?” I whisper.
“It’s only scary if you focus on the probability that you can lose them. If you focus on the present and take it one day at a time, it’s not as scary. You have to decide which will hurt more – taking a chance on a man who could make you happy, or never taking a chance at all and growing old alone. Personally, living my life alone scares the living hell out of me.”
“I hear what you’re saying.” I sigh and glance out of the window. “It’s been almost six years, Willow. He’s changed and so have I. Honestly, I don’t think we’ll get together. I just needed to talk to someone about it. You know, make sense of it all for myself.”
Willow gets up and when I do the same, she gives me a hug.
“You need to get going, or you’ll miss your flight. Just remember that you can talk to me about anything. We might live in different states, but I’ll always be there for you.”
When I pull back, I press a kiss to her cheek.
“Thank you. I really needed this.” We look at each other for a few minutes, and I give her the peace of mind she just gave me.
“I’m going to fix him.”
She nods as her eyes well with tears.
“I believe in you, Leigh.”
We walk out together and give each other one more hug before going our separate ways.
Chapter 9
JAXSON
I make sure I’m on the jet well before Leigh is due to arrive.
“Mr. West,” the stewardess greets me with a clear look of surprise on her face. It doesn’t stop her from checking me out. “We weren’t expecting you. I’m Tia, and I’ll be your stewardess for the flight.” There’s a flirting tone to her words which I choose to ignore.
“It was a last-minute decision.” I glance around the luxurious cabin. “It’s a surprise for Dr. Baxter so I’ll appreciate if you didn’t let her know that I’m onboard. I’ve also brought food which I’d like to be served after we’ve taken off.”
I keep my voice professional and hand her the brown paper bags filled with delicious treats we can snack on and a light white wine. My plan is to get to know Leigh better and to allow her to get to know me. We need to erase the gap between us that formed over the past few years.
I take a seat in the staff area and strap myself in. My heart starts to beat with both anxiety and excitement, thinking that in a few minutes time, I’ll be sitting across from Leigh. She’ll have to give me undivided attention seeing as there’s nowhere she can run to until we land.
I have around six hours to convince her to give us a try.
Once we’ve reached cruising altitude, I remove the seatbelt and make my way to the kitchen.
Finding Tia there, she helps me unpack and plate all the food. She tries to rub up against me every chance she gets, which irritates me to hell and back.
“Could you please prepare the table, Tia?” I ask briskly, handing her a white tablecloth and candles.
“Of course, Mr. West.” Her voice is throaty as if she’s willing to do just about anything I ask of her, including going down on her knees to suck me off.