I place the phone back on the stand. He starts to sit up, but I stop him, lightly pushing him back against the pillows.
“What are you doing? You should be resting.”
“I’m not letting her see me in bed,” he says, still being the prideful man I’ve always known.
“Marcus, don’t hide this side from her. If you’re going to let her in, you need to trust that she can handle both the good and the bad.”
“You’re right. I don’t like it one bit, but you’re right.” He slumps back down, his face pale.
“Are you in pain? Can I get you some water?”
“Water, please.”
I rush to the kitchen and fill a pitcher with water and some ice. Grabbing a glass, I rush back to Marcus. I pour him a glass and watch as he takes a few sips before helping him place the glass on the side table.
“I really think you should stop working, at least until you feel better. The guys need to know, too. Exhausting yourself like this to keep up pretenses is just plain stupid, Marcus. Take a break from work and rest. You’re going to need the strength for the fight ahead. Tell the guys, so they can support you.”
For a long moment, all he does is look at me. I can’t tell if he’s thinking about what I just said, or upset with my honesty.
“I don’t know how to tell Jax. How do I tell my best friend I’ll never get to be his best man? I won’t be there with cigars when his children are born.” The look of pain on his face is so intense it brings tears to my eyes.
He presses the palms of his hands hard against his eyes.
“It’s unimaginable, thinking ten years from now I won’t be a part of his life. How do I tell the most important person in my life, I’m dying?”
I swallow hard, widening my eyes to keep the tears back.
“You don’t tell him you’re dying, Marcus. Tell him you’re sick. You’re not gone yet. You still have time with him, with Willow, with all of us. Don’t spend that time thinking about what you’ll miss out on. Spend your time doing what you love, with those you love. You can still be a part of everyone’s life, even if you do leave us. Write your thoughts down for years from now. Write your best man speech. Write down what you’d want to say to Jax when his first child is born, and add the cigars to the envelope. You can still be here. Just because you might move on sooner than us, doesn’t mean you’re gone. You’ll never be gone from our lives or our hearts.”
I can see that my words are reaching him and if I’m not imagining it, I think I can even see a spark of the old Marcus in his eyes.
“You should become a nurse, Mia. You have this way of showing compassion without making the sick feel like begging for death.”
I scrunch my nose. “You think?”
“Yeah, take it from me. You’d make a great nurse, or maybe work in hospice. Your honesty is raw and needed when facing a death sentence. You’ve helped me find perspective, and even a little hope. I’d be so fucking pissed at myself if I spend my last months, feeling sorry for myself.”
I’m just about to ask him if he has contacted hospice when there’s a knock at the door.
“I’ll get it. Do you want me to prepare her?”
“See, you’re amazing. Please, Mia,” he whispers. I can see how upset he is about the whole situation, and I lean over him to press a kiss to his forehead, like he’s done with me a hundred times.
I open the front door to a pretty blonde with the softest brown eyes.
“Hi, Willow. I’m Mia,” I say, standing to the side so she can come in. I close the door behind her and take a deep breath before I turn to face her.
“Hi, Mia. Is Marcus okay?” She looks so worried, and I hate that I don’t have good news to wipe her worry away.
“Willow, when you see him, you might be a little shocked. He’s very sick, and if you need a minute to prepare yourself, I’ll understand. He’s lost a lot of weight, and he’s exhausted, but he can’t wait to see you.”
Her mouth opens, but no words come out.
“He’s in his bedroom. Do you want to see him?”
She nods, still unable to form any words. I take her hand and hold it tightly as I lead her into his room.
When he sees her, tears escape his eyes. I fight the urge to run to him. I let go off Willow, as she slowly starts to walk towards him.