She takes a cup and sips at it, her eyes wandering over my face as if she’s searching for something.
“What are you thinking?” I hate not knowing where I stand with someone.
“You’ve been all dark and broody since I met you. You never gave me any signs that you were into me. Or I just completely missed them all. We don’t even move in the same circles.” Her honesty doesn’t surprise me one bit. That’s one of the things I like most about her.
“You think I’m broody? What, like the quiet, deep in thought kind, or the moping kind?” I smile at her. It feels weird not fighting with her. Not that I get some sadistic pleasure out of fighting, but because she’s so damn feisty. I love seeing her eyes spark.
“The quiet kind,” she says. “That’s not the point I’m trying to make here.”
“Okay, I’ll keep quiet and listen,” I laugh. “You’re busy saying?”
I try to keep a straight face but for some reason, all I want to do is smile.
“Why are you really here, Carter?” Her voice is soft, not whisper soft, but rather a fragile kind of soft. It chips away at my heart because I know why. It’s because she doesn’t trust me and I can’t blame her.
“I totally get how my sudden change of character must be confusing to you.”
She nods as she makes herself more comfortable on the couch by tucking her legs beneath her.
“You’ve got that right. At least I knew where I stood with you when you hated me.”
I shake my head as I sit down next to her. “I never hated you, Della. I hated myself for liking you, but I never hated you.”
“Why?”
“I’ve never done the dating thing. I’ve never had to. Then I saw you and I actually thought about it for the first time. The night I brought Evie home, I couldn’t wait to see if that spark was still there.”
She sighs and whispers, “The night I laid into you.”
“Yeah,” I say as I lean my head back against the couch. “I was upset because of the things you said. What got to me most, was that I still liked you even after you insulted me. That pissed me off.”
“I know that feeling,” she says, placing her cup on the table next to the couch.
“We let it get out of hand, or at least, I did. The more I liked you, the more upset I got until,” I wave towards her room, “the kiss on your bed.”
“Carter,” she says, her voice serious. I look at her and when I see the worry all over her face, I start to worry myself. What if she tells me to take a hike? I can’t blame her if she does. “I have a lot going on in my life right now. I know I asked you for time, but the problem is there’s no time. I’m busy with exams and I really need to focus all my attention on my studies. I’m too close to the end to mess it all up now.”
“I know. You’re right.” All I can do is agree because she is right. I have my own exams to worry about.
“I don’t want you to think that I’m shooting you down, because I’m not. I just can’t think of us right now.”
I get up, not wanting things to get even more awkward between us. I tried and my timing sucked.
She gets up and walks me to the door. She stands on her toes and presses a soft kiss to the corner of my mouth. I close my eyes, taking a deep breath of her scent.
“Thank you for understanding, Carter.”
“Sure,” I say, already walking away.
That’s not what I had hoped for, but she gave me more than I deserved.
Well, that was the first and last that I try with a woman. From now on I’m sticking to screwing.
Della is just a whirlwind of confusing emotions.
CHAPTER 7
DELLA