“Does he have a Hannah Montana poster above his bed?”
“No, but…”
“Does he have a rabid raccoon infestation?”
“Okay, now you’re just being ridiculous. The guy loves Star Wars,” I say, expecting her to be as repulsed by his obsession as I am.
“So? You love Lord of the Rings. And anyway, I like Star Wars just fine.” She really is a traitor. Liking Star Wars and liking Lord of the Rings is not the same. It’s Lord of the Rings or nothing at all.
“No, you don’t understand. It’s everywhere.”
She scrunches up her eyebrows and asks, “What? You’re not making sense.”
“Star Wars is everywhere. He has a Yoda shower curtain and creepy little Star Wars figurines on every flat surface he can find,” I whisper as I move closer to her.
“Now who’s being ridiculous?” she says with a scowl. “Don’t you think you should be a little more supportive of your friend?”
“Supportive of a silly obsession?”
“No, supportive of him finding someone to spend his life with! And also, if his worst quality is liking Star Wars, I think I’m doing pretty good,” she adds. She’s right. I should’ve told her he snores like a freight train, eats his boogers, and is notorious for leaving his stinky gym clothes everywhere. To my knowledge, none of those things are true, but she wouldn’t know that. Truthfully, Chris is a great guy, and I’m apparently a jerk for trying to keep him from finding “true love.” I just can’t stand the thought of Hannah being that for him…or for anyone…other than me.
It hits me like a ton of bricks. I’m jealous. I’ve never been jealous like this before. I’ve never had a reason to be. If a woman was interested in someone else, it never bothered me too much. There was always another woman to pursue. But it does bother me that Hannah seems to be interested in Chris. I hate that he gets to take her out for a night on the town.
I want to be the one taking Hannah Stuart out on a date, but I can’t. Colby would be furious. I can’t believe this is happening. I’m crushing on her hard, and I have been for a while. I would be a fool not to. She’s sweet, funny, smart, an absolute knockout in the looks department, and every guy in this town knows it. I’m the last one to figure it out. How have I gone all these years without noticing?
My hands shake as I stare into her face. She releases a frustrated sigh and turns to walk into the library while I stare at nothing, wondering how on earth I got to this point.
I’ve been sitting on Colby’s couch, watching TV, for an hour before he finally walks through the front door. He’s covered in sweat, so I assume he’s been at the gym.
“What are you doing here?” he asks as he kicks off his shoes and places them in the hall closet. He walks to the laundry room and throws the clothes from his bag into the washing machine.
“Did you know Hannah has a date tonight?” I stand up from the couch and ask him. I go to the kitchen and dig through his fridge in an attempt to look casual. I move things around, and I can feel his eyes burning a hole in the back of my head. I put everything back where I found it and grab a bottle of water before turning around to face him.
“No, but that still doesn’t explain why you’re here.” He’s got a point. I was hoping he would think this is as bad as I do, but apparently, Hannah dating is only a bad thing when he thinks it might be me going on the date with her.
“It’s Chris from the fire station. I feel responsible since I’m the one who asked him to help me at the library yesterday.” It doesn’t seem to faze him. He’s not barging into Hannah’s room to put a stop to her date.
“Okay,” he says and shrugs his shoulders. But he also doesn’t question my presence anymore.
He goes to take a shower, and I sit back down on the couch to watch more TV. One of my favorite episodes of Parks and Recreation is on, and I’m laughing like a maniac when Hannah comes into the living room, wearing a soft-blue dress with poofy sleeves. She looks beautiful, like she belongs in a fairytale with a swarm of woodland creatures surrounding her, but I don’t tell her. I never tell her exactly how gorgeous she is, because she isn’t dressed up for me.
“Oh my gosh! Leslie Knope’s campaign episode! This is my favorite!” she exclaims as she rushes over to sit right next to me on the couch. She takes a handful of my popcorn and munches as she laughs at all of the ridiculousness on the screen. She takes the remote from my hand and rewinds it to rewatch a funny part that I completely missed because I was too focused on her sudden appearance next to me. She starts to rewind it for a second time, but I snatch the remote back from her.
“Come on! It’s my absolute favorite part!” she begs with a pouty lip. My eyes are mesmerized by the bright-red lipstick covering her full lips. I want to put my lips to them and mess up that lipstick so Chris will know that she’ll never be his. But I pull my eyes away to look up into her eyes.
“No!” I say, but she manages to get the remote out of my hand again. I end up tackling her on the couch, and she waves the remote around, keeping it from me. That’s it! Time to pull out the big guns. I tickle her ribs, eliciting a loud shriek from her.
“Seth!” she yells through her laughter. I freeze and look down at her. I really look at her. Her eyes match the blue in her dress perfectly, and I cannot look away. She has me hypnotized. She stops laughing and looks up at me with a thousand questions in those baby-blue eyes. I lower my head toward her ever so slightly. I haven’t thought this through. My body is running on autopilot. I feel her body tense up beneath me, and I think better of what I was about to do. I can’t kiss her now. She’s about to go out with another man. My friend and coworker.
She doesn’t fight me this time as I take the remote back from her and move to the other side of the couch, putting as much space between us as possible. We both twiddle our thumbs as we pretend to watch the TV.
The doorbell rings, and Hannah bolts from the couch. Colby comes out of his room with wet hair, smelling significantly better than he did before. He answers the door and lets Chris inside. Hannah stands beside the couch with an over-the-top smile plastered on her face. I don’t want her smiling at other men. If it didn’t look so fake and awkward, I’d be tempted to kiss that smile from her lips. I’m getting some sick satisfaction that she’s not really excited about this date. Stop being a jerk, Seth. Chris is your friend, I tell myself.
Chris gives me a questioning look and wave. I gnash my teeth and give him a head nod in return. I can see Hannah and Colby watching us in my periphery, waiting to see if we’re about to pummel each other.
“Okay, y’all have a good time,” Colby says. He holds the door open for them, giving them the hint to head out. Hannah grabs her purse from the entry table and walks out the door with Chris. Everything in my body is screaming at me to go get her and bring her back inside this house. She doesn’t need to go out on a date with Chris, because she should be with me.
I’m still standing, staring at the closed door, when I hear Colby say, “Parks and Rec? Really? You and Hannah have a shocking number of things in common.”
I go back into the living room and slump down on the couch with my arm draped over my face. My life sucks.