“I’ve punished myself enough for the both of us. It’s exactly what I need from you, withholding. It’s what I deserve. I’m a faithless sinner.”
“And I’m a werewolf whore. We make a great team.”
He frowned. “You’re no whore, Sunday.”
“If I’m not a whore, then you’re not faithless.” I cocked a brow.
My poor priest, I could see the conflict at war in his eyes. He was desperate to believe me, but he thought so little of himself that he couldn’t.
“Caleb,” I whispered, stepping close. “Loving someone doesn’t make you a sinner. It makes you human.”
He shuddered, his eyes fluttering closed. “Humans have souls. I’m a monster.”
“Then so am I.”
“No,” he said, shaking his head and opening his eyes. “No, my sweet Sunday.” He reached out, cupping my face with both his palms and resting his forehead against mine. “You are a gift. If only God saw fit to give you to me before I made my vows. That’s how I know I’m damned. The one thing I want is the only thing I can’t have. I’m trapped in a hell on Earth because I can only watch.”
“What if I don’t want you to only watch?”
He backed away and ran a hand through his dark hair. “I’ve already crossed too many lines. Don’t tempt me.”
“Mademoiselle Fallon, are you quite done... fraternizing with our priest?” Headmistress le Blanc’s voice was a crisp melody on the wind.
I jolted as if I’d been electrocuted, jumping away from Caleb like I could somehow undo the damage of being found with him like this. We hadn’t really crossed boundaries—at least not tonight—but if she’d overheard anything we said, we were already screwed.
“It’s my fault, Madame. Sunday missed her session with me, and I was scolding her.”
There was no mistaking the amusement in the headmistress’s voice. “Of course, Father Gallagher. As is your right. I believe Sunday has an appointment with me, but I can send her back your way once we are done?”
“No... I’m finished with her.” His voice was ice-cold, emotionless, and it hurt.
Words failed me as Madame le Blanc took me by the arm and escorted me away from him. When I looked back over my shoulder, he was still there, standing half shrouded by darkness and his face void of all emotion.
I’d broken him somehow. And it had to have been me. I was the common denominator any time one of my paramours was hurt, and I hated that. Kingston in the well, and my rejection of our mate bond. Noah imprisoned, not to mention his traitor mark. And now Caleb, my professor and a man of God I’d led astray, tempting him to break his vows time and time again.
The only one left for me to hurt was Alek. But it wouldn’t happen if I stayed away from him. Maybe I could save him some of the heartache and take it all on myself instead.
“Is something troubling you, Miss Fallon?” Madame le Blanc asked, her voice pulling me from my spiral as we entered her office.
“I’m a little nervous about why you wanted to see me, Madame.”
It wasn’t exactly a lie.
“Oh? Well, allow me to put your mind at ease. I understand that you went through your first heat. I wanted to check on you and see how you were feeling. If there was anything you needed.”
That brought me up short. She hadn’t exactly beenniceto me since I arrived. This woman was distant, cold, but usually fair. Warm and fuzzy wasn’t how I would describe her. “I don’t understand why you care, Madame. You’re not a wolf.”
Her face softened, and she took a seat, motioning for me to do the same. “Perhaps not. But I am a woman, and my knowledge of the world and the creatures in it surpasses most. I know that your mother was not around to discuss these matters with you. It must be confusing trying to figure all this out by yourself. Especially so much later than your peers. Your father did you a disservice by leaving you in the dark.”
“It was... surprising. But it’s over now. Moira ordered me some suppressants to take. It won’t happen again.”
“Good. That’s good. In the meantime, I have something for you as well. It should help... regulate things until your suppressants arrive.” Without moving, a small bottle appeared on the center of her desk. “You’ll need to come see me and drink this once a week until your suppressants have taken effect.”
“How long do they take to be effective?”
“At least one full month of pills. Similar to human birth control. We don’t want you caught unawares.”
“What does that mean?” But my conversation with Dylan sparked to life in my mind, clueing me in to the answer.