ChapterThirty
SUNDAY
Iwas dreaming again. Fuck.
It started the same as they always did, nothingness interrupted by the thundering sound of hoofbeats. I braced myself for the oncoming terror, for flames and death and the nightmarish landscape I’d become accustomed to. Instead, the world around me was lush and green, a peaceful creek cutting a path in front of me. The sun was high in the sky while birds sang from the trees.
“What the hell?”
“Eden, actually,” my mother’s voice corrected.
I spun around to find her wading through the water, an apple in her outstretched palm.
“I think I’ve heard this story. The person with the apple isn’t to be trusted.”
“It’s good for you. An apple a day. Isn’t that the saying?”
“Why are we here? What’s going on?”
My mother’s serene expression twisted, and a bolt of fear shot through my heart. Then I blinked, and she was smiling once more. “I’ve been trying to tell you, to show you the truth, but we’re running out of time. You need to feed, daughter.”
“I don’t like apples unless they’re in a pie. I’ll pass.”
The apple vanished. “Do you always take things so literally?”
It was the first time she expressed genuine frustration with me. “Oh, excuse me for not speaking in metaphors. I like it best when I can understand what the fuck people are saying to me.”
“You want me to speak plainly? Fine. Let us out. Stop fucking around and do what you were born to do. Youneedto feed.”
“I’m. Not. Hungry.” I stepped into the creek, the water so cold a chill ran up my spine.
“You are. Your wolf side might be sated by that pup you’re mated to, but the part of you that is born from chaos, from me...sheis insatiable. She’ll die without the sustenance she needs. You’ve felt it. You’ve given her a taste. She needs more. Needs to be strong. It will only get worse if you deny her.”
I threw my hands in the air, sending droplets of water flying in every direction. “I’m not denying myself anything.”
“Yes. You. Are. You act like a human, wavering between what is acceptable and right. You are so much more than those mewling worms. You were born to rule. A god does not ask for permission. A goddess takes what she wants. When she wants. Stop worrying about insignificant matters. Claim what is yours.”
“And what happens when I do?”
“You can be reunited with your true family. With us.”
Confusion and longing flickered in my chest. I’d always wanted to belong to a family.
“What are we?”
My mother smiled. “I was not born, but created. The beginning and the end. Infinite. I hold chaos in my palm and wield it as my sword. I am the one powerful men bow down and submit to. The one who hears their prayers. The queen can move in all directions once freed from the interference of the pawns.”
“Great. More metaphors.”
“You asked me a question. I gave you the truth. It’s not my fault you’re too stupid to understand it. But you will. Do as I say, and all will be revealed. The game will be won.”
“So I’m one of the pawns?”
She laughed. “No, darling. You are the chess master.”
Unease coiled in my stomach. My mother had always intimidated me, but now I was genuinely afraid of what she might be.
She moved closer, cupping my cheek in her palm. “Darling daughter, you have nothing to fear from me. All I want is to walk at your side as you rule your kingdom. Do as I say. Take your knights. Feed your demon.”