“You don’t understand. My dreams, Moira’s visions... this happened because I was too selfish to choose between you. I made the wrong choice by not choosing at all.”
My brows furrowed, her explanation heartfelt but not making sense. I vividly recalled the terror they’d induced but didn’t understand what they had to do with this. “Who told you that you have to choose? Sunday, we’ve been over this. I don’t expect that from you.”
“She said if I choose wrong, the consequences will be dire. I watched you nearly die. It doesn’t get more dire than that, Noah. I can’t lose any of you. So that means I have to let go of everyone and choose. Even if...” she trailed off, her whole body shaking. Clearing her throat, she continued, “Moira had a vision after the attack. She told me it was you all along. I should’ve chosen you. You are the only way to keep everyone safe.”
Instead of reassuring me, her words had the opposite effect, leaving me cold and hollowed out. I sat back, my hands dropping to my lap.
“Noah?”
“I don’t want you to bond with me out of some mistaken sense of obligation. That’s not what this should be about at all. I’ve never coerced a woman in my life, and I bloody well don’t intend to start now.”
Her expression fell as understanding dawned. “Noah, I’m sorry. That’s not what I meant at all. I’m explaining this all wrong.” She reached for me, taking my hand in hers and feathering kisses over my knuckles. “I do love you. So much. And I do want to bond with you. I was just confused for a minute. I thought I could have all of you, but the answer has been right here in front of me the whole time. It’s you, Noah. You’re the one I’m supposed to be with. I choose you.”
“I’m... fuck, Sunday, I need a minute.” I stood and paced, raking my hands through my hair as I tried to come to terms with the wild rollercoaster of emotion she’d taken me on.
Sunday stood and came to me, resting her hands hesitantly on my shoulders. “Noah, what can I do to make you believe me?”
I shook my head, not sure how to answer her. I waited for a beat, taking a deep breath, when it came to me. “Drop your shields,” I told her. “Let me in, so I know this is what your heart truly desires.”
Fear flashed and then was gone as quickly as it had come. “Noah, there’s something I need to tell you about first.”
“I know about Father Gallagher.”
“You... you do?”
“I smelled him all over you.” I knew I had a right to be jealous, her connection with him was the only one she kept from me, but I also understood exactly why she couldn’t tell me. There was too much at stake for both of them if it got out.
“I’m so sorry, I didn’t want to keep it from you—”
I stopped her with a kiss. “Sunday, it doesn’t matter. Not to me. But I can’t do this with you if you’re going to keep me out. I want everything. That means no shields, no barriers, nothing between us at all. Can you do that?”
Relief flooded her expression, her shoulders sagged, calling to attention exactly how tense she’d been. “I promise. No shields.”
“Even when you’re angry with me. When I drive you up a wall.”
She nodded.
I ran my nose along hers, nibbling on her lower lip. “Even when you’re fantasizing about them.”
“Shouldn't I stop fantasizing about anyone but my mate?”
“You couldn’t if you wanted to, dove. And I doubt that’s what you want. As long as you allow me to be part of what brings you pleasure, to share in that journey with you, you can fantasize about fucking the queen herself. I don’t give a damn what gets you off, as long as one of those things is me.”
“I love you, Noah. I don’t know what I did to get so lucky as to find you, but I’m really fucking glad I did.”
She dropped her shield then, and the wave of her love washed over me, her thoughts brushing against and mingling with my own.Fuck. It felt so good to feel her, all of her, again. I craved more. I needed to be inside her.
Instinct guided me as I scooped her into my arms. This was the moment I’d give her my bond, mark her as mine. No shields between us, our thoughts melded, sensation shared, love connecting us and making us stronger together.
I stood her on her feet at the side of the bed, and slowly we undressed each other, nothing clouding this moment now that we’d talked through everything holding me back.
“How do we do this?” she asked, her gaze never leaving my eyes as she slipped her hand down my chest until she reached my jutting cock.
I smirked. “Well, love, we do it the same way we’ve done it before. I seem to recall you think I’m quite skilled in that arena.”
Her cheeks turned pink. “I know that. I mean... the bond. The mating mark. Do you just bite me?”
“No. First, I will fill your body, and while we’re joined, I’ll take some of your blood, then I’ll give you mine. Our bond should be established by my heart beating in tandem with yours.”