I turn instead to face the Storm. It’s a quiet darkness now. Layers of misty veils hang as insubstantial as shadows. The edge is soft; it’s hard to know exactly where it begins. Five steps, maybe, and I’d be cursed. Six, and I’d be gone. I don’t move.
Ma chose this darkness over death. Now it hangs quiet and innocent.
The more I stare, the more the darkness seems to expand, until it fills my vision. It calls to me. I touch Ma’s locket where it hangs below my collarbone.
I curl up at the foot of the darkness; far enough that it can’t touch me, but close enough that all it would take would be one stormsurge. Let it take me, if it wants.
There’s nothing left for me. Nothing but a sorrow that I can barely keep at bay, one that threatens to dig its knives into me and break me.
But the Storm soothes me. Even the high ringers, who have everything and stomp on us like ants, even they won’t be spared. The Storm will take them, just like it took Ma.
I gaze into the dark until my eyes slip closed.
A woman hums as she runs her hands through my hair. My head is on her lap, and I twist to face her. She wears a silvery veil that shrouds her features, and yet I know who she is. “Ma?”
Her voice is as soothing as her humming. “You called for me, my child.”
“Has the Storm taken me, then?”
“Isn’t that what you wished for?”
“Is it?” I sit up. We’re on the bank of a pond so still it looks like poured silver. I bend over its edge and meet my reflection. The answer is there, formed by the lips I share with Ma. “No, that’s not what I want.”
I turn to her. She waits, her hands clasped.
“How did you do it? How did you walk into the Storm? Where’d you find your bravery?”
“It wasn’t bravery, my dear. Nothing of the sort.”
“What, then?”
“Fury.”
Her voice is dark.
“You say they’ve taken everything from you. Now what?”
I shake my head.
“Will you weep?”
I scrub my eyes.
“What do they care if you weep? What use is sorrow to you?”
“Stop it, Ma.”
“Will your tears bring them back?” She grabs my wrist, and I jerk back.
“Stop it!”
She hisses. “Where’s your fury?”
I push at her. My fingers catch in her veil and tear it from her face.
Darkness in the shape of a person stares back at me. I jump to my feet, and so does it.
I raise my hand, and it mirrors me. It’s my shadow.