Chapter 18
Crispin was still grieving when he sat at the dinner table with his sister the next evening. He couldn’t believe that he had fallen for that lie, that he had trusted that woman. It all seemed like such a terrible pain that he should have allowed himself to think so highly of her when, in reality, she was nothing more than a vixen who had tempted him only to break him.
“Crispin, you stop torturing yourself,” Beatrice urged him.
“I am doing no such thing,” he claimed, knowing that it was a lie.
“I still think you had best find out the truth. I know what her stepsister said, but you saw the look on Lady Mary’s face. She appeared as though she had no knowledge of what was being said about her. I found it all very confusing. I wanted to get you away from there in that moment, but it does not mean that I necessarily agreed with what was being said,” Beatrice said.
“What do you mean, Beatrice? You cannot say that you disbelieved her,” Crispin said.
“I am saying only that you would do well to find out the full truth before you blindly believe what was said about the woman you clearly care for. She may have been telling you the truth when she said that it was a lie and that she had no gentleman to whom she was engaged.
Or, perhaps, it was the truth, and she was genuinely trying to fool you all along,” Beatrice said, expressing that there were multiple possibilities.
Crispin knew that she was right, and he would be wise to find out the full truth. Still, he was terribly hurt and the last thing he wanted was to invest himself in trying to learn the truth only to find that Lady Charlotte had been honest from the beginning. Was it intelligent for him to spend all this time investigating the matter if he would just be hurt even more in the end?
“Honestly, Beatrice, I am not sure that I wish to know anything more. I feel as though my heart is going to burst from pain when I think that she had been lying to me all along,” he said.
“And that is why you must know the truth. You may be living with the pain whether there is no pain to be had. And if there is, if it is the truth, you must confront her about it so that you feel the matter is truly resolved,” she insisted.
Crispin considered what his sister was saying, but he didn’t like thinking about it. He wanted to know what Lady Mary was doing, what she was up to in all of this. He wanted to know the full truth. But how could he simply approach her and ask? If she had been lying to him from the beginning, he had no rights to her, and she would not have to explain herself.
The last time they had danced, he found himself picturing a scene from the book that they were both reading. It was a scene in which a wedding was taking place and the bride and the groom met at the altar. She looked lovely and, in Crispin’s mind, the character was replaced by the image of Lady Mary. And he was the groom, of course. It was just as the story described.
He was shocked that the image of the wedding brought to mind his affection for Lady Mary so readily. Was he falling in love with her? Had he allowed his feelings to get so far out of hand that he could no longer rein them in?
That certainly did not bode well for him in light of this betrayal. If she really had allowed him to fall in love with her when, in truth, she was keeping another gentleman a secret all along, it was only going to grieve him further.
“I cannot move forward, Beatrice. This is simply too dreadful a matter. My heart is aching, as I have said again and again. I do not wish to know anything more. I would rather forget the whole matter and go back to being a hermit,” he said, half sarcastically.
“Hush, brother. You will never again be a hermit. And if you are not going to find out what is going on, you cannot stop me from doing so. I am a good judge of character, Crispin. Lady Mary fooled me as well—unless she did not.
She seemed perfectly genuine and that is what I wish to find out: is she, or is she the liar and schemer that her stepsister has claimed?” Beatrice asked, helping him understand that she was going to make an effort to find the truth.
“If she is already engaged to another man, none of it matters. She would not idly wait for me to find out the truth. They are probably already married by now,” he said.
Beatrice scoffed and laughed once more. “It happened last evening, Crispin. Her father is going to be furious and likely will not allow her out of the house. You ought to be more rational about it all.
I know that you are upset, but there is no reason to be foolish about it and assume nonsense. Just think about the fact that this woman truly seemed to care for you, and she was so gentle and kind. I do not think that such a woman could turn around and tell the sort of lie required of a woman to actually be engaged to another man.”
“And why would her sister make up such a lie? It makes no sense at all,” Crispin said.
“Of course it does!”
“How?” he asked, incredulous.
“Think about it, Crispin. It is not difficult to ascertain. You are a duke with abundant wealth. You are handsome and clever. You have so many things that are assets to you. And there are many women out there who might have an interest in you. Perhaps Lady Charlotte was so interested in you that she needed her stepsister out of the way,” she said.
“No young lady is going to be so devious and cunning as to try such a scheme,” he said.
“Oh? But you believe a young lady is devious and cunning enough to fool you into falling in love with her when she is engaged to another? Well, that is absolute piffle. I cannot believe that you would make such an assumption,” Beatrice said.
Crispin knew that she was right, but he didn’t appreciate her making the point. He wanted her to realise that all of this was hurting him. And yet, all she could do was to go on and on about how he needed to give this young woman a chance to explain.
“But her father? I can understand if Lady Charlotte told these lies, I suppose, although I hate to think it. But surely her mother would not play such a game. And Lady Mary’s father? If he has given warning about such behaviours, what am I to think?
Of course I do not wish to believe it, Beatrice, but I find myself realising that I do not know her well and her entire family is willing to come against her,” he said.