My chest ached for Julian, and I found myself wishing he would walk through the door so I could hold him. “That’s so awful. Why’d she do that to him?”
“Money. At least that’s what we assumed. Blake has the lumber company and I have the ranch. Julian never wanted anything for himself. He was happy to just work with us, doing whatever was needed. It seemed like Grace realized she couldn’t get anything else from Julian, so she cut him out.”
“What a fucking bitch.” I took the ice cream back from Blake and ate another bite. “I mean, just a raging bitch. I can’t believe she would do that to him.”
Isaac combed his fingers through his hair and sighed. “Yeah. It was shocking that Julian even joined us last night. It shows how much he likes you.”
“It also shows that we picked right this time. You’re perfect for us.”
My stomach sank as I thought of the secret I was holding back from all of them. I was hiding something huge from them. I was hiding Julian’s son from him. I had been for a year. I had to believe that would hurt him.
It was something I’d never worried about before. I had only thought of myself and Hank. I’d never considered what not knowing about Hank might do to Julian. I put my hand over my mouth and winced, wondering what I was going to do.
“Mal?”
I looked up at Isaac and tried to clear away the panic from my face. “Yeah?”
“You okay?”
I nodded roughly. “Brain freeze.”
There I went, lying again. They’d invited me into their home and business, trusted me with their secrets, trusted me with Julian, and there I was, lying. My stomach cramped as I thought about what I’d done and what I was going to do.
“Let’s go back to bed.” Isaac stretched and pulled me up. “You need more sleep.”
I wasn’t sure I’d ever sleep again. I’d seen the cracks in their relationship. I’d seen the way Julian seemed to exist on the outside and I felt like I was going to hurt them even more. I handed the ice cream to Blake when he reached for it and silently went back to the bed. Crawling into the middle, I was sandwiched by them and held while they fell asleep pretty much right away.
I’d known getting involved with them was a dangerous thing to do, but I hadn’t figured on it hurting them. My worst nightmares had been about sharing custody with a man I didn’t know at all. I’d been worried about losing Hank, even partially.
It was too late to change anything, but that didn’t stop me from feeling like a piece of shit. I was so selfish.
I was also terrified about what happened next. I couldn’t keep things a secret forever. I liked the guys. I even liked Julian’s rough personality. I liked being with them and feeling like I fit with them. Their comments about me being perfect for them had slipped through the cracks in my armor and built little shrines of a future. I was thinking about dating, something I hadn’t allowed myself to do in too long.
None of my feelings mattered, though, because I’d hidden something so huge from them. They were going to hate me. They were going to think I was a liar, like Grace.
And who the hell was Grace? Was she still in town? Could I find her and punch her in the boob for hurting them? Maybe I needed to punch myself in the boob.
I shifted between my two burly men, men who I had no right to really claim. I wanted them. I wanted Julian. It might not matter, though. Not after they found out about Hank.
“Whatever it is, we’ll sort through it, Mal.” Isaac’s calm voice was a soothing balm that I didn’t feel like I deserved.
Still, I turned my face into his chest and squeezed my eyes shut to hold the tears in. I didn’t know how he was reading me. I thought he was sleeping, but he was still there, trying to take care of me.
“It’s okay, baby. Cry if you need to.” Blake wrapped his arm around my stomach and kissed my shoulder. “We’re here.”
“Why?” My voice broke as I said it, and the tears came hard and fast.
Isaac stroked my hair. “If you haven’t noticed, we like you.”
“You fit with us. You’re funny and smart.” Blake stroked my stomach with his big hand. “And you’re absolutely beautiful.”
“We just know. It’s not typical for all three of us to like the same person. We’re different men with different needs, but you shine to all of us.” Isaac wiped my tears and sighed. “Even Julian. Seeing him talk to you is like watching some of his old self come out.”
“We haven’t spent a lot of time with you, but we know what we know. Call it a triplet thing.” Blake combed his fingers through my hair. “And whatever you’re so worried about won’t be too big for us to sort through.”
I choked my feelings out through my tears. “I just don’t deserve this. I’m horrible.”
“You’re not.” Isaac growled. “Now, stop it. You’re running on too little sleep and coming off of a pretty big experience. You need rest.”
I sniffled and suddenly felt just how tired I really was. I yawned and curled into them. My brain slowed with the steady stroking of my hair from Blake. My eyes were so heavy that I let them close and sighed. “I hope you don’t hate me.”
Isaac shh-ed me and kissed my forehead. “We couldn’t hate you. Now go to sleep.”