I heard Will talking, but I was too distracted by the memories flashing through my mind to really listen to him. One, in particular, was the hardest to tune out. It was the day I’d found out my daughter wasn’t my daughter. I’d left the hospital to wallow in self-pity marinated in vodka and come back to an empty bed.
“I didn’t say goodbye to her,” I choked out.
Will stared at me as tears rolled down my cheeks. “What do you mean, you didn’t say goodbye? I was outside the room when you held her—” He stopped abruptly. “Shit. You don’t mean Eloise, do you? You’re talking about Amelia. This isn’t just about the baby.”
A few minutes passed without either of us talking. Eventually Will sat up. He took his feet from the coffee table and leaned his elbows on his knees. “Do you love Evie?”
I wiped my tears and nodded. “I do.”
“Then you need to figure out a way to move on.”
I thought I had moved on…until I saw Eloise’s sweet face. “How do I fucking do anything now?”
“You stop letting things from your past destroy your future. I’m no shrink, but I think the first step is letting it out. It’s been three years, and this is the first time you’ve let the emotions in. After Amelia died, you came back to work a few days later like nothing happened. You can’t erase people from your heart to move on.” He tapped his fingertips to his chest. “You have to accept that they’re always going to have a piece and let it heal as best it can. A person who loves you will take your heart, scars and all.”