Chapter7
Owen Bliss
Jacob is sittingin Ashlyn’s lap, her arms wrapped around him protectively. Making him feel safe. She’s such a good mother. I had no way of knowing that about her when we met that night. Had no way of knowing that I was making her the mother of my child.
I’m damn lucky. Things could have gone much differently.
I thought Ashlyn was hot but I also instantly liked her. A lot. So much so that I was reckless with her. We were reckless together. I wanted to mark her. To make her mine. And this little boy is the result. A part of Ashlyn, a part of me—but mostly me. God, I love him so much already.
My son’s looking at me as though I’m the enemy. I don’t think he’s used to men being around his mom. I’m OK with him temporarily seeing me that way. I prefer that over his being used to men coming around.
Ashlyn hugs Jacob and tickles his ribs. “What kind of ice cream did Nana and Papa get you?”
“Chocolate peanut butter.”
I pipe in, “Mmm, my favorite.” She’s right. Jacob has my everything. We even have the same food preferences.
“Who are you supposed to be?” My little buddy is confrontational even at age four. Something else he gets from me.
“Well, that’s why I’m here. So we can talk about who I am.” I look at Ashlyn, waiting for her to take the lead.
“This is Owen.”
“My name is Owen, too. Jacob. Owen. Shepherd.”
She gave our son my name. Almost. Jacob’s last name will be changed to Bliss as soon as possible.
“That’s right,” Ashlyn says. “Your middle name is Owen because I named you after him. He’s your daddy.”
Jacob’s head tilts to the side as he studies me for a moment. I’m certain he’s trying to work out in his young mind what that means.
He turns and looks at Ashlyn, appearing confused. “You said I didn’t have a daddy.”
“I was wrong, baby. Very, very wrong. You have a father and he loves you a whole bunch. He wants to be in your life.”
Jacob turns to look at me again but says nothing.
“How do you feel about that?” I ask, bracing myself for what might come out of this child’s mouth. It could be anything but I’m hopeful he’ll be open to a relationship with me.
“I’ve always wanted a daddy.”
I get up and go to the sofa so I can sit beside him and Ashlyn. “You know what, Jacob? I’ve always wanted a son. And I’m so happy that I now have one. You.” This boy and his mother mean the world to me. “Would it be OK if I gave you a hug?”
He looks at Ashlyn for approval and it’s a reminder that I’m nothing more than a stranger to him. “He’s your daddy, Jacob. You can hug him.”
I expect him to lean in for a brief embrace but he gets up and comes over to sit in my lap. I put my arm around him and hold him closely. Smells like a sweaty little boy who just played baseball. “You don’t know it yet but you’re gonna be my little buddy.”
“I’ll see you again?”
“That’s right. You’re going to see me all the time. Every day.” No point in waiting to tell him our plans.
“Jacob, your father and I love each other very much. He has asked me to marry him and I’ve said yes. Do you understand what that means?”
He shrugs. “You’ll kiss and hold hands?”
Ashlyn smiles. “Yes, we’ll kiss and hold hands but it’s a lot more than that. We’re all going to live in the same house, and he and I will sleep in the same bed every night. You’ll sleep in your big-boy bed in your room.”
“Can I still come to your bed if I have bad dreams?”