He nods. “You’ll just have to be patient.”
“Does Anton know about this surprise?” I ask, wondering if he’ll be pissed to know that I left the hotel without his say-so.
Not that I need it or anything. But he has been there for me these past few days. I don’t want to seem ungrateful.
“It was his idea, as a matter of fact,” Yulian tells me.
“Really?” Now, I really am excited. My heartbeat picks up. “So this place we’re heading… Anton is there?”
“Yup.”
“And you’re not going to give me any clues?”
He smiles. “Nope.”
I peer at him out of the corner of my eye. His side profile is a carbon copy of Anton’s. The same sharp jawline, the same rakish stubble.
“Comparing me to my brother?” he asks.
“No,” I answer—a little too quickly to be subtle about it.
He gives me that same all-knowing smile he did the first time he caught me gawking. “Tell me something, Jessa. Why him? Why Anton?”
I gulp and think for a moment. Why Anton, indeed? I’ve thought about it over and over again. Wondering what if, wondering why, wondering how. Wondering if I made the right choice when I took his hand to help me to my feet on that godforsaken beach.
And I’ve come to the same conclusion every time.
“He looked at me like… like he was really seeing me,” I whisper. It’s the first time I’ve said it aloud and it feels good at first. Then I actually hear myself and I flush with embarrassment. “Sorry. That came out really sappy.”
Yulian is quiet and contemplative for a long moment. “No, it’s cute,” he says at last. “Really pulls at the heartstrings.”
“Ass.” He laughs again, and I sigh. “He just seemed so different than the men I was used to. He was confident and in control. He seemed like the kind of guy who knew exactly what he wanted.”
“Well, you got that part right. Although I’m suddenly regretting starting this conversation.”
“A little sibling rivalry?” I tease.
He pinches the bridge of his nose. “It’s not a rivalry if I never win,” he corrects. “It’s just the story of my life, you know? Anton has always been amazing at whatever he attempts. Even when it comes to women. I know I don’t stand a chance if they see him first.”
“Oh, c’mon, that can’t be true.”
“It is. Every woman I’ve ever wanted has wanted Anton instead.”
“Maybe you’re just choosing the wrong women,” I say. “Maybe you’re attracted to the women you know you can’t have.”
He blinks, like he’s never considered that before but it has the ring of truth. His glance at me is impressed. “You think?”
I shrug. “Hey, people are complicated. Maybe in some ways, you wish you were more like him.”
He snorts. “I’ve wished that since I was old enough to talk. He was always the favorite son. The son that made Papa proud.”
“I’m sure you did, too,” I say, even though I have no idea if that’s at all accurate.
“Nope,” he says firmly. “My father gave me attention, sometimes even affection. But he gave Anton praise. I’d have preferred his pride over his pity.”
“You’re saying that only because you didn’t get it,” I point out. “You might not have felt that way if you’d gotten Anton’s deal.”
He shrugs. “Maybe you’re right. Honestly, I got the better end of things in the big picture.”