11
JESSA
Marina is in front of me. White dress, stained with her blood.
No, wait, not her blood. Blood from the thing she’s holding.
She turns to me, her eyes like blazing blue suns, promising all kinds of pain. Then she shows me what she is carrying…
My baby.
I wake up screaming.
The older nurse rushes into the room and holds me down until I stop thrashing. The second nurse is a little younger and much more cautious with me. Courtney, I think her name is.
“Water?” Courtney asks, offering me a glass.
My mouth is parched, so I accept and chug half of it down before wiping my mouth with the back of my hand. “Where’s Anton?”
He was here when I fell asleep. I was nestled against his chest. I fell asleep to the rhythm of his heartbeat.
“I’m not sure, dear,” Courtney says. “Would you like me to call him?”
“No,” I say quickly. “No, I was just wondering.”
“Alrighty then. Drink up, sweetheart,” the woman says with maternal tenderness. “You’ll feel better once you’re hydrated.”
I drink up, and when I’m finished, she takes the glass and offers me a damp towel for my forehead. I want to protest that I don’t need to be handled with kid gloves like this, but it just feels too good.
The door opens and the ruthlessly efficient doctor sweeps in. “Another nightmare?” she asks.
I nod and croak, “Yes.”
“It sounded bad.”
“I dreamed I was staring at my dead baby,” I whisper, sparing them the goriest details.
Courtney looks horrified on my behalf, but Dr. Mathers barely reacts. I know it’s not disinterest, though. She’s just being calm and professional, same as she has been since I arrived.
“Your baby is fine, Jessa,” she reminds me. “I’m monitoring the fetus closely and the heartbeat is strong. I think it’s safe to pronounce your baby out of the woods.”
“Does that mean I can walk around a little?” I ask hopefully. I frown at the expression on the doctor’s face. “What is it?”
“Walking isn’t going to hurt you at this point,” she says reluctantly. “But Mr. Stepanov feels that you would benefit from a little more bedrest.”
Well, that tracks.
“So the only reason I’ve been lying here all this time is because he’s ordered it?” I demand.
“‘Ordered’ is a strong word.” I cock my head to the side and give her an accusing look. She sighs and relents. “But in this case, it’s an accurate one.”
That settles it. I push the duvet cover aside and swing my legs down off the bed. The moment my toes hit the plush carpet on the floor, I feel a surge of adrenaline.
“Who knew the highlight of my day would be getting out of this bed?”
“Resting isn’t the worst idea, Jessa,” Dr. Mathers says.
I glance at her with a smile. “Are you saying you’re scared of him?”