“We don’t have to talk about her if you don’t want,” I add.
“I want to know,” she says firmly. “The woman tried to kill me.”
“She tried to kill the baby.”
“You don’t think she wanted to kill me?”
“There’s no predicting what Marina was thinking. But I don’t think so,” I say.
“Why?”
“You want me to guess?”
She nods solemnly. “You know her better than I do.”
I’m not sure this conversation is suitable for Jessa in her weakened condition. But I don’t want to handle her with kid gloves, either. She’s seen and lived through more than most people in the last few months. She deserves more credit than that.
“She was going to use you to get to me.”
“For revenge?”
“More or less, yes.”
Jessa’s eyes are wary, but she pushes on. “Because she believes that you killed her child?”
“I did.”
Jessa flinches.
“I’m not going to lie to you, Jessa. You want the truth and you deserve it. The picture you were sent was a fake. Obviously. But the video… it actually happened. Every cursed second that you watched is exactly what happened.”
She swallows carefully. “Were you going to kill her?”
“Yes.”
Her eyes widen. There’s disappointment there, but it’s tempered by the reality of who Marina is. What she’s done.
What she might still do if I don’t stop her.
“But you held back.”
“Because she spat out that she was carrying my baby,” I explain. “I may not have wanted her, but I wanted that child. Neither of us got what we wanted. She miscarried a few days later.”
“It wasn’t your fault,” she blurts out. “You didn’t know she was pregnant.”
“I would have killed her if she hadn’t been pregnant.”
“I don’t want to make excuses for you,” she says softly. “But I’ve met Marina now. And she’s… she’s fucking terrifying.”
“She can be,” I admit. “And the fact that I subverted her plan means she’ll regroup and come back even harder. She’s like a cockroach that way.”
Jessa shivers. She looks pale all of the sudden, trembling in a way I don’t like.
“I’m going to get the doctor,” I say, standing up.
Her hand jerks out and grabs me firmly around the wrist. “Don’t leave me,” she begs.
“Jessa—”