“Sit,” he commands. I do what he says without a second thought.
“Here.” He hands me a file.
“Do I want to see what’s in here?”
“I think it might be a nice distraction,” he says.
I frown. “A distraction?”
“Go on.”
So I open the file, expecting yet another devastating blow. Planning for a new fracture to appear throughout my life, an earthquake threatening to submerge the little island of safety I’ve scrabbled together for myself.
Instead, I found myself looking at a house listing. “House” doesn’t really do it justice, though. These are mansions. Castles. The dossier contains five in total, each with huge glossy panoramas of gorgeous rooms and endless gardens.
Slowly, I look up at Anton. “What is this?”
“A change,” he says simply.
I try to understand it for a few more seconds and then give up. “You’re gonna have to walk me through this.”
“You’re not comfortable in this house, Jessa,” he explains. “Last night, I walked in here to find you shaking in your fucking socks. That’s not what I want for you when I’m away.”
“It’s just because of everything that’s going on right now.”
“Bullshit. It’s because you look around this place and see Marina in every wall.”
He’s not wrong. I open my mouth, then let it fall closed again.
Anton nods knowingly as my silence stretches. “I asked you to move in here with me. But that was the wrong choice.”
Despite the pages in my hand, my heart sinks at the words. He wants to move me into my own house. I’m going to live on my own with our baby. His mistress in every way now. He’ll stop by on weekends, maybe in the evenings, whenever he deigns to spare a minute with us.
I’ll be utterly alone.
“I shouldn’t have forced you to move in here,” he reiterates. “I should have asked you to move out of this house and into a new one with me.”
And just like that, my dashed hopes rally and soar even higher. “Do you mean that?”
“What have I always told you?”
“That you never say anything you don’t mean.”
He smirks. “Glad to hear you listen from time to time.”
A smile spreads across my face, but I try to tamp it down. I need to be coolheaded and rational about this.
“Anton, this will be a huge expense.”
He waves away the concern. “It’s a drop in the bucket. I want a place that feels like home to the both of us. I’m not doing this just for you. Marina tainted so much of this house that I can still feel her presence here sometimes, too. I don’t need that shit anymore. It’s poison. We’re having this baby together and we both deserve a fresh start.”
I find myself pushing back tears. “Anton, I… I don’t know what to say.”
“You could say yes.”
I lean into his broad chest. I want to say that my home is right here in the circle of his arms. If it wasn’t the cheesy thing that’s ever been put to words, I might.
“Of course my answer is yes,” I murmur.