“What is?”
“This feeling,” I say. “Missing you.”
He runs his hand down my left arm, watching the goosebumps erupt along my skin. “Do I make you nervous, Jessa?”
“Sometimes.”
“Because you’re scared of me?”
“No.”
“Then why?”
His hand lands on mine and I turn mine over. He draws circles on my palm, but he keeps his eyes fixed on me.
“Because I care about you,” I whisper. “Because I love you.”
He doesn’t react to that. His expression remains unchanged as he takes in my declaration. “Does that make you nervous?”
I want to kiss him again, but I also don’t want to lose sight of his face for even a second. “It doesn’t just make me nervous,” I admit. “Loving you scares the hell out of me.”
“I can understand that.”
“I don’t fit into your world, Anton,” I say. “And you definitely don’t fit into mine.”
He shrugs. “Guess we’ll have to create our own world, then.”
He says it like it’s easy. I raise my eyebrows, cautious and hopeful at the same time. “Do you mean that?”
“I don’t say anything I don’t mean.”
“But Marina…”
With his free hand, he reaches up and cups the side of my neck. I feel warmth spread through my stomach. It’s turning fast to desire.
Again, I feel guilty. It’s not right that I should be able to feel all these good things when my best friend’s life is in danger. And yet I can’t stop the burn that pulsates through me.
“Marina will be handled.”
“I don’t want her to hurt you.”
He scoffs instantly. “She won’t ever get that chance.”
“Anton—”
“Listen to me, kotyonok,” he says softly, cutting me off. “I need you to breathe. And I need you to trust me.”
“I do trust you. I just—”
He presses his lips against mine and I completely forget what I was about to say. For that moment, I fall into his lips and stay there for as long as I can.
“Then forget about Marina tonight,” he says finally, drawing away. “It’s just you and me right now.”
“Can there be a you and me if there’s still a her?” I ask. “She’s your wife.”
“She’s nothing more than a nuisance. And she won’t be in my life for very much longer. As my wife, ex-wife, or anything in between. She won’t even be a memory. You are my everything now, Jessa. Everything in the past is irrelevant.”
I needed that reassurance, and I allow myself to bask in it for a moment. Then I lean my forehead against his and pray silently that this will end soon.
“I’ve got you.” Anton places his hand over my stomach. “Both of you.”
I sigh deeply. “I know that. We both do.”