“Oh my God, Jessa. Look at you. You totally are. What aren’t you telling me?” When I don’t answer, her eyes go wide with shock. “Don’t tell me—wait, no, c’mon now—you seriously have the hots for this guy?”
I look around in panic. Because God, I really, really don’t want Chris hearing that. Thankfully, he hasn’t made an appearance yet.
“He’s… he’s attractive. But it’s not like that.”
Freya shakes her head at me. “There’s something you’re not telling me.”
“There’s nothing,” I say, but I don’t even manage to convince myself.
Freya’s sights are locked on me, and I know she’s not going to let up until I give her something. I haven’t told her about the fact that I’ve already slept with Anton, and I don’t plan to, either.
There’s no way I’ll ever live that down.
“Hey, I thought we were the type of friends that can be honest with one another,” she whines.
Since it would be too rude to point out that we’ve been friends for all of, like, five minutes, I settle for a more diplomatic response.
“I just—it’s embarrassing, okay?”
Her eyes go wide. For a moment, she looks like some intrepid young reporter who just got her first whiff of a huge breaking story.
“Tell me more.”
She’s so direct that I find myself giving her exactly what she wants. Well… not exactly what she wants. I’m guessing what she wants is the truth.
But I only give her part of it.
“We… we kissed.”
Her jaw drops to the table. “No!”
“Just to clarify, it was before I knew who he is and what he does.”
“But you kissed him?”
“He kissed me,” I clarify quickly. “I mean, there was chemistry from the beginning, and I wasn’t exactly pushing him away. But yeah, it happened and I’ve felt guilty about it ever since.”
Freya stares at me. Her blue eyes seem to get a little brighter, a little more focused. “So…?” she says, drumming her fingers on the table rapid-fire.
“So what?”
“So how was it?!” she exclaims in exasperation.
I blush and pretend to be suddenly interested in the menu I already know by heart. “That’s neither here nor there.”
“Come on. Give me the deets. Spill the beans. Share the tea. Air the dirty laundry.”
I sigh. She is like a bulldog with a bone. “It was… amazing, okay?”
She sighs. “Makes sense. He looks like he can kiss.”
“He can kill, too. That’s the problem.”
“It’s okay, Jessa. You don’t have to pretend with me.”
I frown. “What do you mean?”
“I mean that I’ve been there, too. He’s so much more attractive because of the danger he represents. He’s exciting. Off-limits in a way that makes him more desirable. Am I right?”