“Everyone thought wrong.” I scoff. “She wanted too much from me.”
“She wanted your love,” Yulian murmurs.
For a moment, it sounds like an accusation. Then I realize I’m just projecting. Because deep down, I know the truth. And the truth is, I’m the reason she spun out. I’m the reason she broke. Bit by bit, part by part.
But it would serve no purpose admitting that now.
She’s dead and there’s no bringing her back.
“She wanted too much,” I repeat, quieter this time.
“What makes you think Jessa will be any different?”
I glance at him, wondering why the feisty chef has made such an impression on him. “The difference is that I won’t be marrying her. I’ll throw her back into her mundane life the moment she starts to bore me.”
The words taste strange coming out. Like I’m reading a script rather than committing to the scene. But Yulian is too wrapped up in his thoughts to notice.
“I told her as much,” he muses out loud. “That night, when you were busy with Rodion… we talked.”
He’s waiting for me to ask a follow-up question, but when I don’t, he supplies the answer anyway. “She looked disappointed. A little heartbroken, actually.”
“I doubt that. You’ve always had a flare for the dramatics.”
He smiles. “And you’ve always been an expert at hiding how you feel. But I’ve known you my whole life, big brother. You can’t hide from me.”
“What were you doing talking to Jessa anyway?”
He shrugs. “I was stepping out to smoke a cigarette and she followed me onto the balcony. Probably looking for you. I figured you wouldn’t want to be disturbed.”
I nod and reach for my drink. Was she really looking for me? Yulian has a habit of conflating the truth to serve what he calls a “higher purpose.”
But really, he just likes to fuck with people. It’s the one iota of control this life offers him, so he does it whenever he feels he can get away with it.
“I heard about the job you offered her,” he says, pushing the conversation along. “Aren’t you concerned?”
“What do I have to be concerned about?”
“She already knows more than she should. What if she finds out more?”
“Like what?”
“Like the real truth of your marriage with Marina? Like the events that led up to her… suicide.”
I hate that he hesitates over the word, as though he’s not sure if it’s even appropriate. But he knows he’s annoyed me and he doesn’t want to push the topic.
“How would she find out?” I ask. “Unless someone told her.”
“The staff talk.”
“Not my staff.”
Yulian shakes his head. “That’s your problem, you know. You seem to forget that, as perfect as you may be, the rest of us mortals are fallible. We make mistakes, even where you’re concerned.”
“None of them will breathe a word about what happened,” I reiterate.
Yulian exhales with exasperation. “Okay then. What about the tapes? If you remember correctly, you record every official meeting you have on the premises.”
“Those tapes are kept in a locked drawer in a locked cupboard in a locked room. And even if everything was out in the open, she doesn’t know there’s anything to find. She’ll be confined to one part of the house.”