Snorting, I rubbed my jaw, hating that twilight had already set in. There were times I hated the darkness, the stark difference in day and night a reminder of good versus evil. It had always been that way. “It was very quick, the cancer spreading to several of her major organs within weeks. I’ll never forget the day she was taken, a beautiful sunny morning, her favorite time of day. I wasn’t allowed to be by her side. I was a ghost, an issue for her family. Then her son was taken away, sent to live in another state with Danielle’s brother. I never saw him again. So you see, my beautiful angel, I’m not allowed to feel anything but pain.”
“That’s because you refuse to allow it. That’s because you closed down. While I understand your pain, we’ve all felt something that gnaws at you, destroying love and trust, hope for the future and almost everything else in between. If you stop giving a damn about anything and anyone, then the devil has won. Then you’re driven into madness slowly, pieces torn apart, ripped and eaten until finally there is nothing left. Don’t allow the past to haunt you. It will eat you alive.”
When she placed her hand over her mouth and nose, I sensed she’d felt the exact same anguish churning deep inside. Maybe the reason we were drawn to each other is because of the agony, igniting a passion that we’d shoved aside and tossed into the trash. While I was no psychiatrist, had no right to judge anyone for their feelings or their reactions to tragedy, I wanted nothing more than to comfort her.
No, I just wanted her, my sweet, beautiful angel.
I took long strides, moving behind her. She bristled then seemed to melt, allowing a few tears to fall. While I had nothing to say that could break the tension or ease the pain, I was driven to the very madness she’d mentioned, once again dragging her into my arms. When she finally eased the back of her head against my shoulder, something within me broke, a dam finally free of debris and chaos.
She turned around, placing her hand against my cheek. “I want you in my life, Valentin. There is no rhyme or reason why, no answers that make any sense. I meant what I said to you. I am falling hard and fast and no amount of guilt or remorse can drive it away from me, but you don’t understand. You can never be a part of my world, no matter how small it may seem to you, it’s all I have. It’s the only thing that keeps me going.”
“Your world has already become mine.”
“No, it hasn’t and it can’t.”
“Then tell me why. Tell me, angel.”
Her mouth twisted as it had done so many times before, another wave of chilling anguish nearly gutting me. And even for a man who’d been through everything, I hadn’t been prepared for her answer.
“Because I also have a child, a beautiful little girl they threatened to take from me. They can’t take her. I won’t let that happen. You need to let me go so I can protect her.”
* * *
There were some secrets that should never be told to anyone. The fact she had a child changed everything.
As twilight began to shift, the only light that of the moon, I guided her away from the olive grove, heading toward the house, trying to put together the pieces of the odd puzzle.
“Tell me about her,” I said quietly, the anger drained for now.
“Her name is Molly. Molly Worthington. She’s almost four and just a little handful.”
Even in the darkness, her love of the child was evident.
“Where is she, with her father?”
Cassidy laughed. “Her biological father is dead. Even if he were alive, I’d do everything in my power never to allow him to see her.”
“Why?”
She tossed me a look then pushed a strand of hair behind her ear. “He turned out to be a deadbeat. He cleaned out our bank account then disappeared. Later I found out he’d used the money to buy drugs. One day he left for work, and he never came home. When I got the call from the police, I was devastated, although I’d known something had been wrong for a long time. He was moody, every trip he took for business driving him into silence for days afterward when he returned. I was at the point of breaking up with him. Then he disappeared.”
The story was interesting and very painful for her. “Were you married?”
“Oh, God, no. My family would have disowned me.” Her laugh was bitter. “Besides, he didn’t want a family, asking me more than once to have an abortion. I should have tossed his ass out the door after that.”
“When did he disappear in relation to the threats?”
“You think he was the reason? He was a fucking VP of a marketing firm. He had nothing to do with my world and I had nothing to do with his. I never even went to his work. Too bad his cocaine addiction shifted to crack. At least he gave me Molly. Everything changed in my world in less than three weeks. He disappeared. The arrests. The threats. His body found.”
“What was his name?” There were far too many coincidences. She was too close to understand that her ex had been hiding more from her than his drug addiction.
“Why are you asking me all these questions? The main thing is that I need to make certain nothing happens to my baby,” she stated, becoming more emotional than before.
“Because there are men trying to kill you, Cassidy.” As we approached the house, she slowed, finally turning toward me.
“His name was Christopher Wren. Do you want to know his height, weight, what he liked to eat as well?”
While the name wasn’t one that I recognized, there was something about it that also nagged at the back of my mind.