“I’m sorry,” I say quietly.
Sabine glances up, looking unusually vulnerable. “What for?”
“You are the bravest out of us—I ran away. Drake withdrew. You’ve stood strong, dealing with Mother practically singlehandedly.”
We both fall silent for several seconds as distant memories come too close.
Though Sabine seems callous, she’s had to grow a thick skin. The fact that she can care about anything at this point is a miracle.
“I’m glad you took Regina away all those years ago,” she says quietly. “I’ve never blamed you for leaving. What Mother did…” She blinks quickly, looking away. “Don’t give her a reason to hurt you, too, Brahm. I would never forgive you.”
Slowly, I nod.
Standing abruptly, Sabine dabs at her eyes and then gives me a smile. “It’s late, and you look like death. I’ll let you get some sleep.”
I walk her to her door in the hall, making sure she gets in all right, and then I wander, knowing I have too much on my mind to find sleep just yet.
No conscious decision leads me to the conservatory, but that’s where I end up. Now that the sun has set, the room is cool and damp. No lamps glow from within, but the almost full moon shines through the glass wall, making it easy to spot the dark shadow near the pond.
I walk down the path, wrestling with the magic that tries to bind my mouth. It’s as strong now as it was ten years ago.
It’s easier when Sabine is with us—she and I can talk to Drake through each other, including information we want him to hear. But when I’m alone with my brother, it’s impossible, even when I try to reason with the magic that I’m just talking to myself.
With a sigh, I give up and clasp my brother’s shoulder. He turns to me, nodding once before he looks back at the roses.
It’s frustrating that he could talk if he chose—he could tell me what’s bothering him, and I could listen.
But he won’t. Perhaps it’s too hard to have a conversation with someone who can never answer.
It’s a miserable existence.
Maybe if he’d left Faerie and gone to a human kingdom, he could have had a normal life. They aren’t bound to obey like we are. But Mother tethered him like an illanté.
Feeling as if I’m intruding, with no way to speak what’s on my mind, I bow my head and then turn toward the door. Drake doesn’t try to stop me. He simply stands in the moonlight, living a wraith’s life, just as Sabine said.