TWENTY-FOUR
‘I don’t know what to do. It’s killing me.’
Things still weren’t good between my mother and Matty. Everything she said seemed to goad him. I worried constantly that they’d split up, that he’d disappear off again. Leave me alone with her.
Perhaps I’d have felt differently if he’d been off with me too. But it was business as usual with us. Matty and Pumpkin against the world. It was a line he actually used, as if we were father and daughter. One time he even referred to me in that way to an ice-cream seller, a slip-up I didn’t correct. A scoop of vanilla for ma’wean.
I think our closeness made it worse for my mother; highlighted that the problem was with her, something she was doing wrong.
I just wish I knew what.
September 24th. I was having some kids from my new senior school over for my birthday. Just girls, although I’d have quite liked to invite a few boys too. I was at that age where I wanted them around but was too shy to ask.
It was Matty’s idea to throw a party.
‘We should celebrate. Leave it to me.’
Two more bodies had just been discovered in a refuse disposal site in Islington, strangled with their own underwear and posed in the shape of a crucifix beneath the trash. One of the women, a runaway from Birmingham, had been partially decapitated by a shovel a workman had been using to clear the garbage. The other was a family courts barrister in her first year of tenancy.
I didn’t connect the timings until years later, long after he’d been incarcerated. Though as Janice says, ‘It could have been a coincidence. Easy with hindsight to see patterns that were never really there.’
My mother was creaming butter and sugar, the radio on in the background.
Detective InspectorHarry Connor, the Senior Investigating Officer in charge of the North London murders case, has issued an impassioned plea to the killer to give himself up.
‘Clearly you have a problem. It can’t be easy for you. Please get in touch. We can deal with this together. Let me help you.’
Matty scoffed, gave his head a little shake.
‘Do you think that shite ever works?’
‘Does seem a bit clutching at straws.’ She glanced in my direction, lowered her voice. ‘Got to try though, haven’t they? There’s women in my office refusing to go out at night.’
‘Whole capital’s having a cack attack, so it is. No one’s safe. Talking of which, will I put that new lock on your front door now?’
My mother shook her head.
‘It’s okay. Des did it already.’
A darkness passed over Matty’s face.
‘When was this?’
‘The other day. I bumped into him downstairs, mentioned it was sticking. He offered to help.’
‘I bet he did.’
‘What’s that supposed to mean?’
‘Only that the fella has a massive hard-on for you.’
‘That’s disgusting.’
He shrugged.
‘Just stating facts, Ams.’
‘Being ridiculous more like.’