Emily had given me a kid. Our kid. The diamond ring on her finger sparkled under the fluorescent lights of the hospital room. Six months ago, she had walked down the aisle of a church in South Carolina and pledged to love me forever. I had thought that was the happiest day of my life. But holding the little bundle of pink in my arms while her mother stared up at me with so much love couldn’t be topped, not even by our wedding day.
“She looks like you,” I said, as I studied the baby’s small face.
“I see you in her, too.”
I thought she was imagining things, but I didn’t care. I wanted my daughter to look like her mother. I’d have two angels on this earth now.
“I’ll keep her safe. I’ll keep you both safe. My girls will always be the most important people in my life. Nothing will ever come before you two. I swear it.”
Emily chuckled. “I believe you.”
“Thank you for this. For her. For giving me this life.”
Her hand reached out and touched my waist. “I love you, Kiro Manning. Thank you for showing me the man no one else gets to see.”
I cuddled my baby against my chest and sat down on the edge of the bed. I had everything in life now. I didn’t need any more. This was all I needed. All I would ever need. My life was complete. My world was perfect. And nothing would ever take these two angels away from me.
The door opened behind us, and a doctor walked in whom I had seen earlier with Harlow.
“I’m Dr. Gavins. I’m the pediatrician on call tonight, and I did a check on Harlow earlier. We have some concerns. There was a heart murmur detected, and while this may not prove to be anything more than just that, we need to run some more tests. I’m having her moved to the NICU. She needs to be monitored by the proper equipment.”
Emily
Kiro held my hand in both of his as the latest update on Harlow was delivered. I had been released from the hospital yesterday, so Kiro had obtained a room for us to use while Harlow was still here. I couldn’t leave her. I refused to. She needed us.
“She was blue,” Kiro said slowly, as if it was just sinking in.
There was excessive blood flow from the left side to the right side of her little heart. She was having difficulty breathing. I inhaled deeply, as if I could breathe for her. I had been breathing for her for nine months now. I wanted her back inside me, where she was safe. Protected.
“She’s going to be OK,” I repeated, to calm him and remind myself. God would not give us this baby girl to love and then snatch her away like that. I just didn’t believe he was that cruel.
“Cardiac catheterization sounds scary as fuck, Emmy. Why can’t we hold her? She’s gotta be sacred.”
I didn’t know what to tell him. I was waiting patiently for my mother to get here. She had planned on coming once I brought Harlow home so she could help me. But I wanted my momma. Kiro had paid for her plane ticket and was bringing her to me.
“She knows we love her. She can feel it.” I had to believe that, too. I needed her to know I loved her.
“She’s so fucking tiny. If this doesn’t work, they want to . . . to . . . fuck, I can’t even say it.”
If this didn’t work, Harlow would have to have surgery. Possibly the first of several before she was even three years old. They had told us everything over the past few days. We got to wear scrubs and masks and go back and see her three times a day. Each time we had to leave her again, I had cried.
Kiro held me, and we waited until we could go see her again.
“She is a Manning. She’s strong. She’s stubborn. And she is loved. She’ll be fine.” I said the words out loud. I needed that to be so. I believed it. I claimed it, and I would not let it not be true.
January 1995
Emily
I watched as my little girl walked toward me. She wasn’t perfectly balanced, but she was walking. Something she wasn’t supposed to be doing yet. The doctors said she would develop later than other kids her age, yet she’d walked at nine months. Nothing they said would happen to her had happened. Harlow was tiny for her age, but she appeared healthy.
“Where’re my girls?” Kiro’s voice boomed through the house, and Harlow started clapping at the sound of it. I wasn’t sure who worshipped whom more, Kiro or Harlow.
“There they are,” Kiro said, walking into the room and bending down to catch Harlow as she waddled toward him as fast as she could. He scooped her up and kissed her tummy, making her giggle, as they sank down on the sofa beside me. “Hello, angel,” he said, kissing me like he hadn’t seen me in a week.
“Daddadaddadda,” Harlow started chanting, wanting his attention.
Giggling, I broke our kiss and grinned at our daughter, who was now laying sloppy open-mouthed kisses on her father’s face.
“Life is sweet when you can come home to all this kind of loving,” Kiro said, as he kissed Harlow under the neck, making her squeal with delight.
“I think she missed you,” I said, reaching out to wrap one of her dark curls around my finger. She had the silkiest hair.
“I missed her, too. And I missed her momma. I missed her momma a fuck of a lot. I can’t wait to get her momma naked later. I got plans for that pu—” I covered his mouth with my hand before he could continue. Kiro may have been the world’s greatest dad, but he still forgot that cursing and talking about my private parts weren’t OK in front of Harlow.
He nipped at my fingers, and I moved my hand. “Keep it clean,” I said, smirking.
“I just missed you,” he said, with a pout that was supposed to make it all better.
“I missed you, too. And tonight we can spend some time together.”
Harlow put her little hand on Kiro’s face like I had, and he pretended to bite her fingers, too, making her giggle.
Next week, we would be keeping Mase while Mary Ann went on her honeymoon. We couldn’t travel yet with Harlow, so we would miss the wedding, but my mother was going to fly out and bring Mase to stay with us. I was looking forward to having us all together as a family. Mase was almost five now, and I never wanted him to think he didn’t fit into our family. I loved that little boy like he was my own.
“I’m going to be extra needy this week, since we’re gonna have both kids next week. Having Mase here, too, always keeps us busy. And I miss my pus—” I covered his mouth again before he could say it.
Harlow started clapping again. We had said the magic word: Mase. She loved her older brother. Luckily, he returned the affection. When she was a baby and fragile, he used to sing her songs and tell her stories as he sat on the floor beside her crib. He worried about her, and he would call and talk to Kiro and me often to see if she was OK.